Well, let me just quote the late-great Colonel Sanders, who said…’I’m too drunk to taste this chicken.’
Catalog
Movie
Talladega Nights
Lifelong friends and national idols Ricky Bobby and Cal Naughton Jr. have earned their NASCAR stripes with their uncanny knack of finishing races in the first and second slots, respectively, and slinging catchphrases like "Shake and bake!" But when a riva
Walker: Shut up in here! I'm trying to sleep! Texas Ranger: One of you turds is about to get smacked in the mouth!
There's nothing more frightening than driving with a live goddamn cougar next to you.
Jean Girard: Bon. So, what if you just said: 'I love really thin pancakes'? That is a fair compromise, no? Kyle: That is a fair compromise. Herschell: Very fair, actually. Ricky Bobby: No! Because then everyone would know I really meant crêpes! Kyle: That's actually a pretty good compromise right th…
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Did he just say 'husband'? Herschell: Wow...Dennit hired a gay Frenchman as your teammate! Ricky Bobby: The room's startin' to spin real fast...cause of...cause of all the gayness. Cal...I love you. [Ricky faints] Cal Naughton, Jr.: Ricky! Ricky! OH GOD!
Lucy Bobby: So how was your day driving with you father? Ricky Bobby: Well, let's see. I got mauled by a cougar, my Crystal Gayle shirt is ruined, and I didn't learn dick about driving. Other than that, it was great.
Reese Bobby: Now, you show me the DNA test and then maybe I'll, uh...I'll say hello to these swamp rats. Frank: [from the house next door] You people shut the hell up! I got a wife in an oxygen tent tryin' to sleep! Reese Bobby: You better shut the hell up or I'll come over there and rip a hole in t…
I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk!
Ricky Bobby: I'm going fast again! Cal Naughton, Jr.: How fast is he going? Lucius Washington: 26 miles per hour.
— Will Ferrell, Lucius Washington, Michael Clarke Duncan, imdb.com
Hey, shut up you little pot-licker I'll stick you in a microwave!
Ricky Bobby: How was school today, boys? Walker: I threw a bunch of Grandpa Chip's war medals off the bridge. [Chip is startled] Ricky Bobby: Sounds like a good day. How 'bout you, TR? Texas Ranger: The teacher asked me what was the capital of North Carolina. I said Washington, D.C. Cal Naughton, Jr…
Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Hey, Ricky Bobby. Good to see you again. Ricky Bobby: Thanks, man. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: You still owe me, like, 30 bucks. Ricky Bobby: Oh no, man. you said that was a gift. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: You're a dirty liar!
— Will Ferrell, Dale Earnhardt Jr., Dale Earnhardt Jr., imdb.com
Shut those mutts up before I cook 'em and eat 'em!
— Will Ferrell, Texas Ranger Bobby, Grayson Russell, imdb.com
Jean Girard: My husband Gregory and I want what any couple wants: to retire to Stockholm and develop a currency for dogs and cats to use. Ricky Bobby: That's dumb. Jean Girard: Why is it dumb? Ricky Bobby: Nah, that's dumb.
My friends and I skipped school and we filled up a cup of pee and tried to get our neighbor's dog to drink it. But he wouldn't.
Ricky Bobby: Oh hey, Casey. Casey Mears: [shakes Ricky's hand] Hey, Ricky. Ricky Bobby: Good, man. Casey Mears: I'm gonna wreck you today. [pause] I'm just kidding. Ricky Bobby: Oh, haha. That' a good one.
Ricky Bobby: Hey, Greg. Greg Biffle: [shakes Ricky's hand] Hey. Good to see you back. Ricky Bobby: Thanks, bud. Greg Biffle: You're not gonna be runnin' up the road in your underwear again, are ya? Like in Charlotte? Ricky Bobby: You know what? That hurts, man. [Greg laughs, then suddenly stops] Gre…
I like to think of Jesus as an Ice Dancer, dressed in an all-white jumpsuit, and doing an interpretive dance of my life.
Like the frightened baby chipmunk, you are scared by anything that is different.
I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party.