Lisa: What do you say to a boy to let him know you're not interested? Marge: Well, honey, when I... Homer: Let me handle this, Marge; I've heard 'em all. I like you as a friend... I think we should see other people... I no speak English... Lisa: I get the idea.
Catalog
Episode
I Love Lisa
Ralph Wiggum mistakes pity for love when Lisa gives him a Valentine's Day card. After a public humiliation, broken-hearted Ralph gives an unexpectedly moving performance in the school's President's Day pageant.
Ms. Hoover: First, we're going to construct paper mailboxes to store the valentines. Lisa: Isn't that just pointless busywork? Ms. Hoover: Bull's-eye. Get cracking.
Bart: I'll go, disguised as you. Lisa: What if he wants to hold hands? Bart: I'm prepared to make that sacrifice. Lisa: What if he wants a kiss? Bart: I'm prepared to make that sacrifice. Lisa: What if he... Bart: You don't want to know how far I'll go.
Ralph: That valentine sure was funny! Lisa: I'm glad you liked it. Ralph: It says 'choo-choo-choose me' and there's a picture of a train. Lisa: Yeah, nice gag. Ralph: So... do you like... stuff?
Lisa: Oh no, it's Ralph! Just make up some excuse! Homer: [answering the door] She's in the can. Go away. Ralph: Yes, sir! I'd do anything for Lisa.
Lisa: I've got something for you. Ralph: 'Let's be friends.' It says 'bee,' and there's a picture of a bee on it!
Lisa: Ralph thinks I like him but I only gave him a valentine because I felt sorry for him. Homer: Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it?
That's not fair! I'm ten times the Krusty fan you are. I even have the Krusty Home Pregnancy test!