“I got no sex life. Looked at two insects having a good time and questioned myself if they have a marriage certificate, I killed both of them.”— Mr. Boldwood, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Marriage, Insects
“Masturbating while reading The Joy of Sex is frowned upon by Librarians. I know this now.”— The Cuntess, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, masturbating, library
“When I say 'hang out' I really mean, let's have sex.”— Instant Turn Ons™, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, hang out, Sex, plans
“Anal sex is honestly the best and most crafty ice breaker to get to know someone better!”— blake anthony , twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Anal Sex, anal, Ice Breakers
“Sex and drugs and Rocko's Modern Life.”— Soren Bowie, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Drugs, Sex, Television
“A woman that hands you a cold beer has love in her heart and sex on the mind.”— Logan, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Beer, Alcohol, Love
“No I will not take my sketchers off during sex.”— granny nabber malik, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Sketchers, clothing, Sex
“I mean sex is alright but have you heard 'Hey Ya' by Outkast?”— Joji, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Music, Outkast, Songs
“BEFORE SEX: you help each other get naked. AFTER SEX: you only dress yourself. Moral of the story, in life, no one helps you once you're fucked.”— Sex Freaks , twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Before Sex, After Sex, screwed over
“Anthony Hopkins has all these sex robots and I can't even get my phone to auto select the right wifi in the house.”— Greg Miller, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Robots, Phone, Wifi
“Statistics show that the average person has sex 89 times a year. If that's the case then I'm in for a wild December.”— caitlin, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Statistics, sexually active
“Things that are not as cool to do alone: sleep, eat, drink, game, watch movies, have sex.”— Mistress, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, masturbation, Movies, Sleeping
“Of course I'm on Pinterest. I pin all the different pieces of furniture I'd like us to have sex on.”— Belle, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Pinterest, Social Media
“The key to every girl's heart is good tongue work.”— Daily Sex Videos, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Oral Sex, tongue, oral
“My signature sex move is apologizing.”— NORMAL HUMAN, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Apologies, sex moves, Funny
“I have to say I was expecting a lot more sex and a lot less coloring books as an adult.”— jj hartinger, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Coloring Books, Childish, Expectations
“Whatever happens today, a lot of Americans are going to have some weird weird sex tonight.”— Erin Gloria Ryan, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Sex, kinky, America, Election
“Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.”— Sex Notes™, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Women, Boners, Horny
“All you gave me was good sex and attitude...”— gerard. | 13RINGS, twitter.comTagged: Sex Tweets, Attitude, Worthless, useless