Quotes tagged ‘comedy’

(199 total)

“Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed.”

“Not bad for a girl who used to obsessively scroll through YouTube videos of Joe’s Pub performances as a high-schooler in Houston, Texas.”

— Lara Zarum, villagevoice.com

“What’s the secret to good comedy? Timing. And what’s courage? Grace under pressure. And who’s the boss? I’m the boss.”

— Ken Woodruff, Jerome Valeska, Cameron Monaghan, imdb.com

“Eleanor: I mean, somebody royally forked up. Somebody forked up. Why can't I say 'fork'? Chidi: If you're trying to curse, you can't here. I guess a lot of people in this neighborhood don't like it, so it's prohibited. Eleanor: That's bullshirt.”

— Michael Schur, Eleanor Shellstrop, Kristen Bell, imdb.com

“It never occurred to me that a female wanting to do comedy was unusual or an act of rebellion.”

— Arden Myrin, refinery29.com

“Mr. Beauregard: Ah, Master Rick, remember when you weren't going to shoot me? Rick: [shoots Mr. Beauregard in the face] I guess Iiii did the butler! Hahaaa! Does that, does that scan? Ghost in a Jar: Oh, I-I get it. It's a play on 'the butler did it.' Rick: Thanks Ghost in a Jar. You always were goo…”

— Mike McMahan, Justin Roiland, Dan Harmon, Rick Sanchez (voice), Justin Roiland, imdb.com

“Death doesn't really bother me unless it's someone I know. And even then, if it happens in a funny way, like my cousin who, honest to God, was flattened by a steamroller... I still actually enjoy it.”

— Debra Fordham, Perry Cox, John C. McGinley, imdb.com

“You got a smart she-she crowd here. Look they're all in their underwear.”

— Don Rickles, youtube.com

“You are a wonderful audience. You really are. Snap out of it, ah?”

— Don Rickles, youtube.com

“[To Jay Leno] I've been waiting back stage for an hour and a half. Waiting for you to get through your funny car bits.”

— Don Rickles, youtube.com

“[To Jay Leno] What is this a Nazi movie? What's Jewish got to do with it!?”

— Don Rickles, youtube.com

“I’m so fortunate, because I just love making shit up.”

— Steven Wright, theguardian.com

“It also takes a village to be a healthy human being.”

— Tiffany Haddish, youtube.com

“I wouldn't change a single word. I'm very happy with what I said, and I'm glad I stuck to my guns.”

— Michelle Wolf, npr.org

“In the age of Trump, himself arguably the worst offender of everything many have accused Wolf of being, you’re holding a COMEDIAN to a standard to which you won’t even hold a PRESIDENT.”

— Rajiv Satyal, medium.com

“I married way out of my pay grade. I have no idea how that happened. She's so goddamn funny and so good. She is a legit comedy powerhouse. But I'm not going to question it too much. I don't know what it is, man. I guess chicks dig love handles or something.”

— Chris Pratt, gq.com

“Nobody owns comedy. Nobody owns a premise. Nobody owns an idea.”

— Trevor Noah, hollywoodreporter.com

“If you look at it, the history of comedy has always been strongest among the nations who have been persecuted the most.”

— Trevor Noah, washingtonpost.com

“The first purpose of comedy is to make people laugh. Anything deeper is a bonus. Some comedians want to make people laugh and make them think about socially relevant issues, but comedy, by the very nature of the word, is to make people laugh. If people aren't laughing, it's not comedy. It's as simpl…”

— Trevor Noah, interviewmagazine.com

“I've been deleting and reactivating Tinder for six years. You know you've had a dating app for too long when you start noticing people's personal growth. When you're swiping through like 'oh cool, Freddie420 went to grad school after all.'”

— Dina Hashem, facebook.com