“Steve: What are you gonna name yours? Snot: I want mine to have a sexy stripper name, like Honey. Steve: I'm gonna name mine after my great grandmother: Glitter. Snot: Naming your sex clone after your great grandmother. That's a nice way to honor her.”Tagged: Sex, Sexy, Clone, stripper, Grandma
“[to a recorder] 3:43. Just peed myself. [pauses, then continues] Asparagus.”Tagged: Peed, Smell, Asparagus, Recorder, Dire Situation
“I don't wanna be around all these babies playing Pokémon, badly. This kid right here is just wasting his Charizard. [to the kid] You are wasting your Charizard!”Tagged: Kids Table, upset, Pokemon, babies, Old
“It's about time the hunter who became the huntee becomes the hunter,… again.”Tagged: Hunter, Huntee, About Time
“It's called 'Fortress of Solitude.' Not 'Fortress of Come on In.'”Tagged: Fortress, Sassy, Alone, annoyed
“Gummi Bears?! He replaced my bullets with Gummi Bears from the mini bar! That's gonna cost me $7!”Tagged: Gummi Bears, Gun, Mini Bar, Money, expensive
“Hayley: [after the cab crashes] Did the cabbie survive? Stan: No. Damn fool was driving sober.”Tagged: Car Crash, Cabs, Sober, Driving, Drunk Driving
“Hayley: Jeez, Steve. Four gallons of Lubriderm? Steve: You try living with eczema.”Tagged: Eczema, A large quantity, Skin Condition
“Steve, I'm very disappointed that you used that language with your mother. That being said, I'm more excited for dinner than I have been in years.”Tagged: Cursing, Excited, Eventful, Parenthood, Dinner