“You ever hear girls say that? "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual." I like to reply with "I'm not honest, but you're interesting!"”— Daniel Tosh, amazon.com
“Well, she's fascinated with Greenland. She enjoys teasing animals, Ban-Lon, and seeing people running for their lives. She loves throwing garbage out the window, yet she's extremely dainty.”— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com
“Yeah, since she met him she's been vomited on, her family cabin's been burned down, she learned her father's a homosexual, and she got fired from a high-paying network job. Yeah, they had a real good thing going.”— Peter Mehlman, Elaine Benes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, imdb.com
“This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic.”— Lorrie Moore, amazon.com
“You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm. It’s really funny.”— Brandon Sanderson, amazon.com
“Yet, I didn’t understand that she was intentionally disguising her feelings with sarcasm; that was usually the last resort of people who are timid and chaste of heart, whose souls have been coarsely and impudently invaded; and who, until the last moment, refuse to yield out of pride and are afraid t…”— Fyodor Dostoyevsky, amazon.com
“Over there [the U.S.] they have set themselves the strange, incomprehensible and barbaric aim of making these gigantic, boundless libraries available, not to a guild of scholars, professors and other such specialists, but to the masses, to the crowd, to the mob!”— Vladimir Lenin, marxists.org
“Been checking Twitter every five minutes, but thank God, so far @realdonaldtrump hasn't mentioned my facelift.”— Conan O'Brien, twitter.com
“Some manipulators like to make critical remarks, often disguised as humor or sarcasm, to make you seem inferior and less secure. Examples can include any variety of comments ranging from your appearance, to your older model smart phone, to your background and credentials, to the fact that you walked…”— Preston Ni, psychologytoday.com
“I'm not so good with the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”— Mathew Perry, Chandler Muriel Bing, Matthew Perry, imdb.com
“Maybe one day, I'll turn into an asshole. But there are too many out there already.”— Jennifer Lawrence, m.imdb.com
“You want to know how two chemicals interact, do you ask them? No, they're going to lie through their lying little teeth. Throw them in a beaker and apply heat.”— Matt Witten, Peter Blake, Dr. Gregory House, Hugh Laurie, amazon.com
“There's no 'I' in team. There's a 'me' though, if you jumble it up.”— David Foster, Dr. Gregory House, Hugh Laurie, amazon.com
“Lies are like children: they're hard work, but it's worth it because the future depends on them.”— Pam Davis, Dr. Gregory House, Hugh Laurie, amazon.com
“I want to go to hell for the really good, fun stuff. Not for the shitty stuff that I do. So I figured a little bit of charity will help get me a window seat on the way there.”— Willam Belli, billboard.com