So you can take your destiny and go fuck yourself.
— Gil Ozeri, Mark Levin, Kelly Galuska, Andrew Goldberg, Jennifer Flackett, Nick Birch, Nick Kroll, What Are You Gonna Do?
So you can take your destiny and go fuck yourself.
— Gil Ozeri, Mark Levin, Kelly Galuska, Andrew Goldberg, Jennifer Flackett, Nick Birch, Nick Kroll, What Are You Gonna Do?
I'm actually grateful for a lot of things.
— Victor Quinaz, Emily Altman, Mark Levin, Kelly Galuska, Andrew Goldberg, Jennifer Flackett, Jessi Glaser, Jessi Klein, Horrority House
You sing like a goddamn angel, and you got the heart of a champion.
— Joe Wengert, Mark Levin, Kelly Galuska, Andrew Goldberg, Jennifer Flackett, Maury the Hormone Monster, Nick Kroll, The Funeral
My whole body is tense, like Joe Biden is whispering a dirty joke in my ear.
— Joe Wengert, Mark Levin, Kelly Galuska, Andrew Goldberg, Jennifer Flackett, Andrew Glouberman, John Mulaney, The Funeral
I gotta withhold my seed for the safety of mankind.
— Joe Wengert, Mark Levin, Kelly Galuska, Andrew Goldberg, Jennifer Flackett, Andrew Glouberman, John Mulaney, The Funeral
Teach me the ways of your kingdom.
— Mitra Jouhari, Brandon Kyle Goodman, Mark Levin, Kelly Galuska, Andrew Goldberg, Jennifer Flackett, Jay Bilzerian, Jason Mantzoukas, Four Stories About Hand Stuff
I'm your hormone monstress, baby, I know everything!
— Jak Knight, Mark Levin, Kelly Galuska, Andrew Goldberg, Jennifer Flackett, Constance the Hormone Monstress, Maya Rudolph, A Very Special 9/11 Episode
I have nothing and nobody.
— Emily Altman, Mark Levin, Kelly Galuska, Andrew Goldberg, Jennifer Flackett, Jessi Glaser (voice), Jessi Klein, Cafetaria Girls
Jay: I'm going to lick the breakfast out of your molars. Lola: Hope you like Lean Pocket Shrimp Vindaloo.
— Emily Altman, Mark Levin, Kelly Galuska, Andrew Goldberg, Jennifer Flackett, Lola, Nick Kroll, Cafetaria Girls
Clip-clop, I'm a little show pony.
— Gil Ozeri, Mark Levin, Kelly Galuska, Andrew Goldberg, Jennifer Flackett, Lola, Nick Kroll, Poop Madness
I'm a person, not something to hide.
— Gil Ozeri, Mark Levin, Kelly Galuska, Andrew Goldberg, Jennifer Flackett, NATALIE, Josie Totah, Poop Madness
Read the tea leaves, honey!
— Gil Ozeri, Mark Levin, Kelly Galuska, Andrew Goldberg, Jennifer Flackett, Andrew Glouberman, John Mulaney, Poop Madness
Just to be clear, 'different' is not a compliment.
— Kelly Galuska, Mark Levin, Andrew Goldberg, Jennifer Flackett, Mona, Thandie Newton, The Hugest Period Ever
Hold your feelings in, like your shit.
— Jennifer Flackett, Andrew Goldberg, Mark Levin, Kelly Galuska, Maury the Hormone Monster, Nick Kroll, The Hugest Period Ever
We hate camp. It stinks like trees. And the boy only likes to poop at home.
— Nick Kroll, Andrew Goldberg, Mark Levin, Jennifer Flackett, Maury the Hormone Monster, Nick Kroll, The New Me
You can have it both ways! You can have it all! And if you try them and hate them, well … hair grows, and you’ll be back to a 'Gerard Way in 2019' look in no time.
Is it wrong to compare my father to a processed piece of deep-fried food, that unholy creation that is like a chicken translated again and again until it achieves a new form of existence? Because I think of him whenever I bite into one.
I really can't get my heart broken tonight
— Sasha Sloan, Lie
Gratitude is a process, not a pronouncement.
And, look, we collectively decided that Whip It was a queer film so now can we decide that that Juno is a trans film??
— Drew Gregory, Elliot Page Is Trans, So "Juno" Is Officially a Trans Film Now