“All you had to do was kiss a dude. Most straight guys do it on accident.”Tagged: kiss, Dude, straight, make-out
“What are you gonna wear? What am I gonna wear? What are my dicks gonna wear? Probably just, like, a cute top and jeans.”Tagged: wear, Clothes, Cute, getting ready
“Pressure, yes. Let's get your mom's panini press. We'll make a pan-enis. The house will smell for weeks.”Tagged: Smell, Panini, Gross, pressure
“Wrong? We're in Florida. The state bird is a chicken finger.”Tagged: Florida, state, State Bird, Chicken Finger
“We hate camp. It stinks like trees. And the boy only likes to poop at home.”Tagged: camp, Trees, Stinks, summer camp
“You're a man, Andrew, with a dick of steel and a gun for an ass. Go get 'em!”Tagged: Man, Steel, Strong, hard
“Christmas is the perfect orgy of bright lights, dairy-based alcoholic beverages, and great deals at your local Honda dealership!”Tagged: Christmas, Drinks, Perfect, Honda
“Andrew, I gotta level with you, bud. You are out of shape. You struggle with stairs, and you have a hard time pouring milk. You're going to kill yourself.”Tagged: stairs, milk, unhealthy, Real Talk, Truth