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Kelly Galuska

31 quotes

All nobody (1)Everything (1)upset (1)colon (1)Murder (1)Smaller Than Muggsy Bogues (1)Teach (1)Questions (1)Molestation (1)Kill (1)sang great (1)Unlovable (1)Poetic (1)Problem Solving (1)grateful (1)

From “BoJack Kills”

Put the corpse on ice. I'm on my way.

Problem Solving

Well, first I rolled all over the couch to get the skunk stench out, but that did not work. So then I ran into every room to rub myself on all my clothes and belongings, you know, to get the Mr. Peanutbutter scent back.

From “Everybody Bleeds”

No! Oh, fuck a duck. I'm gonna go? I'm gonna go... fuck a duck.

ducks

It's not for me but people will like it. It's Starbucks. It's what America wants.

Starbucks What America Wants Appealing To The Base

Listen to me! You want to shoplift lipstick, you want to listen to Lana Del Rey on repeat while you cut up all your T-shirts. You want to scream at your mother and then laugh at her tears!

Puberty Growing Pains periods

From “Requiem for a Wet Dream”

Ms. Benitez: Oh! Steve! Look at you all dressed up. Coach Steve: Well, it’s a special day! Ms. Benitez: And you’re a special guy. Coach Steve: And I’d kill anyone for you! Ms. Benitez: Well, that’s not necessary… Coach Steve: Oh, that’s a relief, because I’d do it, but it would weigh on me.

Special Love Infatuation Kill Murder

From “I Survived Jessi's Bat Mitzvah”

Woody Allen was accused of molestation. He says he didn’t do it, but he did marry his stepdaughter. It is both very complicated and very simple.

Woody Allen Molestation Marry stepdaughter Complicated

Jessi, I loved it. A few small thoughts. You sang great. The breath in here is… it’s terrible.

small thoughts sang great Breath terrible

She’s the worst. I hate how she ‘huchs’ her words.

worst Huchs Words

Nick: Are we really doing the Electric Slide right now? Andrew: I guess. It is a bat mitzvah.

electric slide guess dance Bat mitzvah

From “What Is It About Boobs?”

Jessi: Okay, I admit some of these girls are kind of pretty, but my mom says real beauty is on the inside. Hormone Monstress: So is your colon, and that's packed with crap

beauty colon Real Beauty

Gena: You're like a little Muggsy Bogues. Nick: Well, you know, Muggsy Bogues is already pretty little, but thanks.

Muggsy Bogues Smaller Than Muggsy Bogues Short People Gena Alvarez

Andrew, I think the mother and the sister are about to fuck.

From “Girls Are Angry Too”

Tick-tock. It's dick punch o'clock. And I don't like to be late.

Tick-Tock Punch rebel Extended Metaphor Examples

From “The Hugest Period Ever”

Just to be clear, 'different' is not a compliment.

Compliment Clarity Truth

Hold your feelings in, like your shit.

Feelings emotions

From “Poop Madness”

Clip-clop, I'm a little show pony.

Show-Pony Horse

I'm a person, not something to hide.

Person Standards

Read the tea leaves, honey!

Tea leaves Sassy

From “Cafetaria Girls”

I have nothing and nobody.

Nothing nobody Alone

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