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Latest Quotes

(108,898 total)

I'm bored of being the problem.

— Liz Doran, Hannah Gadsby, Thomas Ward, Josh Thomas, Rose, Debra Lawrance, Ham

Sex is meant to make people feel like quite nice.

— Liz Doran, Thomas Ward, Josh Thomas, Josh, Josh Thomas, Milk

Vice Media LLC is cutting staff at its cable channel Viceland, part of a broader reorganization intended to sharpen its focus on news programming, according to people familiar with the matter.

— Sahil Patel and Benjamin Mullin, Vice Media Trims Staff at Viceland in Pivot Toward News

Media Cliff Notes

Do you have the brain capacity to understand love?

— Liz Doran, Thomas Ward, Josh Thomas, Josh, Josh Thomas, Milk

Brain Love Understand

It's just that everyone's terrified all the time.

— Liz Doran, Thomas Ward, Josh Thomas, Rose, Debra Lawrance, Milk

terrified Scared

I just don't think I love her as much as I'm meant to love her.

— Liz Doran, Thomas Ward, Josh Thomas, Josh, Josh Thomas, Milk

Love Supposed To Be Expectation Reality

I think maybe the reason people don't respond to you well in night clubs is because of your sad-as shit face.

— Thomas Ward, Liz Doran, Josh Thomas, Tom, Thomas Ward, Milk

Reason Response Sad face Nightclubs

I don't know why, I told my dad that my imaginary friend touched me.

— Thomas Ward, Liz Doran, Josh Thomas, Josh, Josh Thomas, Milk

imaginary friend Touched

You're only into me when you're feeling needy and alone.

— Liz Doran, Thomas Ward, Josh Thomas, Geoffrey, Wade Briggs, Horrible Sandwiches

Feelings Alone needy Relationships

You know what they say about Harleys and hemorrhoids? Sooner or later every asshole gets one.

— Liz Doran, Thomas Ward, Josh Thomas, Alan, David Roberts, Horrible Sandwiches

Harley Hemorrhoid joke

I love putting food on trays. Please, let me put food on trays.

— Liz Doran, Thomas Ward, Josh Thomas, Josh, Josh Thomas, Spanish Eggs

food Trays offer Tasks

Geoffrey: And I want to give you all of me, the best parts and the worst. Josh: Why do I have to put up with the worst parts?

— Liz Doran, Thomas Ward, Josh Thomas, Josh, Josh Thomas, Spanish Eggs

best worst Relationship Love

She bamboozled you by talking about periods. That's very cunning.

— Liz Doran, Thomas Ward, Josh Thomas, Josh, Josh Thomas, Spanish Eggs

Bamboozled period pregnant Cunning

Excuse me, sir! I've seen your wang!

— Liz Doran, Thomas Ward, Josh Thomas, Josh, Josh Thomas, Spanish Eggs

excuse me Wang Sex

I'm depressed. I don't vacuum.

— Liz Doran, Josh Thomas, Thomas Ward, Rose, Debra Lawrance, Spanish Eggs

depressed Vacuum chores

I'm scared of surprises.

— Liz Doran, Thomas Ward, Josh Thomas, Josh, Josh Thomas, Spanish Eggs

frightened Scared Surprises

I became distant to everyone who loved me, and I was hiding behind a shell of a person that I had become.

— Justin Bieber, Justin Bieber Spills His Heart Out About His Heavy Drug Use

celebs Drugs

The thing that freaks me out about having a kid is that you could get one and it could be shit. It could be a douche. Then you have to spend the next 18 years pretending to love it.

— Liz Doran, Thomas Ward, Josh Thomas, Tom, Thomas Ward, All You Can Eat

kid Scared Freaked Out worries

Do you need a man who likes fish and chips?

— Liz Doran, Thomas Ward, Josh Thomas, Josh, Josh Thomas, All You Can Eat

Questions Fish and Chips Likes and Dislikes

Dad, I don't think the amount of sport you play as a child is in direct ratio to the men who enjoy kissing boys.

— Liz Doran, Thomas Ward, Josh Thomas, Josh, Josh Thomas, Portuguese Custard Tarts

Sports kiss Boy LGBTQIA

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