Quote
Catalog

Latest Quotes

(108,898 total)

You sprinkle a little lime, they disappear.

Well, it was sort of just an observation that you have your whole life to live. A lot of people in their twenties think they’ve got to get it all together by the time they’re thirty. And they kill themselves trying to get the golden ring by the time they’re thirty. You have an entire life to live. S…

— Billy Joel, Howard Stern Comes Again

Meaning Of Life Over the Hill

You know, it’s a funny thing about wills. Wills are very hard to talk about with parents. And you know, the kids, they’re very good businesspeople. They went to Wharton. They got all As. They were great students—great everything. We talk about deals. The big deal is, how much am I going to leave the…

— Donald Trump, Howard Stern Comes Again

Living Will wills probate Wharton

My neighborhood, it’s not 'turn the other cheek.' Someone hits you, you hit ’em right back.

— Billy Joel, Howard Stern Comes Again

turn the other cheek Revenge

I don’t think so. It’s a job. I don’t walk around thinking, 'Hey, I’m a superstar,' and everything’s great. You know, it’s a job. I take off the hat when I go home. I take out the garbage, I cook food, I feed the dogs, I clean up the poop.

— Billy Joel, Howard Stern Comes Again

superstar Fame Humiliate

I’m a people pleaser. I think that’s one of my traits, and I really just want to—maybe that’s why I’m the guy at the party where I’ll get up and I’ll do something. I want to make people happy.

— Jimmy Fallon, Howard Stern Comes Again

people pleaser

Sure, I’ve got regrets. Anyone who’s really lived has regrets. If you have no regrets, what kind of life did you have?

— Billy Joel, Howard Stern Comes Again

Regrets

Everybody’s got something they love to do and they should be doing and they have a talent at or a propensity for, and I see people kind of wasting their lives sometimes, just not really putting their talent to that purpose.

— Billy Joel, Howard Stern Comes Again

Talent purpose wasted talent

I had just moved out to try to teach her a lesson so that she would beg me to come back. I’d planned on going back. She kept saying, 'When are you coming?' I kept acting like the music was too loud and I couldn’t hear. I was really just playing a game. She left, and then I left after that and we pas…

— Ellen Degeneres, Howard Stern Comes Again

Tragedy

We’ll have a prenup. You have to have a prenup. I have friends that have been destroyed. Men that are killers, tough to deal with, and yet a wife, five foot two, one hundred pounds, destroys them.

— Donald Trump, Howard Stern Comes Again

Prenup Divorce

It’s a funny thing: the Republicans are known for business, and yet the economy always seems to tank under the Republicans.

— Donald Trump, Howard Stern Comes Again

Republicans Business Economy

Howard: Which is more important: talent or looking great? Donald: Looking great. Howard: I agree. Donald: I’ve had both, and I’ll take looking great.

— Donald Trump, Howard Stern Comes Again

Talent Looking Great

I grew up in a neighborhood and it was mostly Irish and Italian and Polish. So everybody went to mass. I was in a Jewish family, but we never had any religious upbringing. The closest I got to Jewish was, you know, they clipped the tip. That was it. I had no say about that at all.

— Billy Joel, Howard Stern Comes Again

Jewish irish italian Polish Circumcision

You're compellingly odd, Milburn.

— Laurie Nunn, Maeve Wiley, Emma Mackey, Episode 4

Compelling odd

I think Iraq is a terrible mistake. To think when we leave, it’s going to be this nice democratic country. Give me a break.

— Donald Trump, Howard Stern Comes Again

Iraq

I’m a rat. I’m a happy rat. You’re goddamn right. You know what? I did the right thing. I changed my life.

— Henry Hill, Howard Stern Comes Again

stool pigeon police informant

Well, I like porn, and I think that people should do whatever they want. But the point being that this generation is so—porn is so accessible that sometimes guys don’t actually connect to the person that’s in front of them.

— Amy Poehler, Howard Stern Comes Again

Porn Alienation hookup culture

What do you say to a drunk who walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck? You can stay. Just don’t try to start anything.

— Unknown, 40 Dumb Jokes Based On Smart Wordplay That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

Funny humor

Knowledge is power, power is status and status means popular.

— Laurie Nunn, Eric Effoing, Ncuti Gatwa, Episode 2

Knowledge Power status Popular

Why didn’t the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.

— Unknown, 40 Dumb Jokes Based On Smart Wordplay That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

Funny humor

WKM &WK W W M W WWW WKW W W W W W K&W WM &WK W W&W W WKW W WKW W W WKW WMW W W WWW W W WW WWW WW& MW &W W W W &W WW W W W W W W W WW W W W M W&MWMWKW W W W WK W W WKW W W W W WW &K WKW W W WKW W W WW MW MMW MWW W W W W W MW WW W W W W W W W WWW& W W W WK&&W WMW W W W WK WK WWM W W W K KWW KW W&& W & K W W W W WW W&W W W&W WM W&KMW MWW W&W WMKW&W WM W&W W W W WKW W&W WW W WKM WMW&W W WW W&W WKW W W WW&WW W& W W&W W&W KW W&W WMW W W W WWKW&W W WKW WWK W WWWKW W W W W W WW W&W W W W W W W W &WWW W M W W W W KW WW W W W W WW WWM&W WWWW W W W W W W W W&W K& KK K K K K KK & K K WWW W & & K K & W K M MWW MM K W W WM& WW WW WM MW W W W W WM WW &MW M W WW W W W WMM W&W KW WM WW &WWMW MWW W&W W W&W W WW WWW MMW W W W W&W W W WWW WMM WMWW W W W WW&W W W & WKWK& W & W&W MW WMW W W W MKW& W W WWKW WW WMWKW WWK W W W W WW &K W W W W W W W WW WW W K&W W W W W W W W W WM W W WW WKWWWW W&W WW W W&M M W W&K MM W W&M M MM MW W WW W MM WMM M M WW WW W&W W W&M WW WWW MM W KMW M M W M WW W WWKK & W W WMW WK K K K WW W& WW M W M WW M M& & K MM W WKWW WW W W W W W W WWW WW WW WW M W MMW KWM WMW WKW M M W& MM W WW WW WW WW MW W W W WWWWWWKM W W W W WWWW W W W W W WW W W MK MW W MW W WWKWKK W WKM W WK W W W W WW& W W WW W W WWWKWW WW WW&MWW WWW W &WW W W W W W&W && W &MW W W & KW WW WWW WWW WWW KWW W WWK W WMW W & WMW W W W M W WM MMW WWK WMK& WM W WW W W M & MW& KK W&WW K K W KW WK & WW & M & &WM K & W W & & WWW WMM WWW K K WW W W &K & W & M K& WWM WW WWM&W W WW&W M WWMWWK WKW W W W W W W&W W &W W&W W K W W W W W& WKW WW W W WM W&W KWW MKW W W W W W WM W WW WW MW W W&W W KWK WWW W WW WMW&& WWWWMWW W WM W W&M W&W W W W W&W W && W&W WMW WMW W WMW& W W W WKW KW WKW WWW WMW WWW W W W WM W WMWWKW W WWW W&W WWW WWWWWWW WWWW &WWW M M W W W W &WW WWW WWW W WWW&WWWWW WWMW W W W W &WK WKW W&W W WWM&WW W &KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KK&&MM&M&KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK&&&&&&&&&K

} } } } * * * * * * * * * * * * } * * * * } } } * } } * * } } * * } * * } } * * } } } } } } } * * * ** }} * * } * } } * * * * * } * * * * * * * * * } ** } } } * } } } * * * } } * * * * * } * * * } } } } * } * * } } } * * } * *} * * } * ** } } } * * } * * } * } * } * * } } } } } } } } } } } } } }} } } } * } } } } } } } } } } } * } * } } } } }* } } } } } } * } } } } * } } } *} } } } } } } } * } * *} *** }} }}}}}}}}}}

V U j jo o U j o VV o U U j U V j o j U V V o V j V o Uj V V V U j U o j o V VU V V j V o V o o o UV U U o oU U U oo U U j VU U ojo o j U j o j VV j V j o Vo j U j o U U Uo U j j U o j j j o j j U U V o U V U V V UVV U U jV Uj V V j V V o j o V V V oj o V o U U o V o o U V jU U o o j V V o j V j o o j V U Uo U o j j j V V V V o o j o oV j j j j oj V U U j U o j U j V j V U j U U U oo jV o oV j j j V o V Uj U U VooU V j U V U o V VU j jj jj U U o o j V V Vj oo o j jV o U j j o V jVj o j j j j o j V j oU o V j V oU jU V o j V j V j U V U U U o V o oo Uj Vo j UU j V U j j j j o VU V U V jj V o V U o j U jUjj VU j j V jUV o o o V UV V U U V U j o o V o V U j VU V j V j o o o U j U j V V U V V V o U V o V j V V U U V V j j j j V U U j j j V j U U j j j o U V U j V U V U j jj UV j j j jjjjjjjj jjjjjooooojjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjooooooooojooooooojojo UUUUUUUUUUU U

K M K & K M K & M & K & K K K K K K K K K M & K K WW &W K & M KKMW& K&MMWWK W MWWW W KMKWM K WWWWWK WWW & & KK& W WWWWWWWW& & WWWW K & WWWWWWWWWWW K WWWW &&&& & WWW W WWWWWWWWWWW KMWKWWWWWWKWM K K &M&&K&&K WWWW WWWWWWMMWWW WWMWWWWWWW W K K WWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWW WMWWWWWWWW&M &WK K K& KMWWWW W &WWWWWWWWWWWW &WWWW K WWWMK WWWWW WW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WW WWWM &WW&KMW WWWWW MW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW MWWM&K K KM KWWW WWWWWWWMWWWWWW KMWWWWWK &MWKK W M WM &W&WWMWWWWWWWWWWWMW KWWWWWWWM &KK K K &MM MWMWKKKK&WWW&&KK&&MW KWWWWWWWW MM K

. : , . : .: ,.: , ,.,. :. : , : .: . : : , , , : . ,: ,, : :,, . . ,:... . ., , :.: , , : : , : : , : : : , : , : , . : : , : , , , .: , : ,: :: :. .: .: :, : ,, , . , : . ,: : ., .,, . :,, , . .,::,,,,,,: ::,,.. .. ... : ::::::: :,:,. ::,:,,,,,,: ::,,,., : ::::::, .:,,,,,.. , . , :: ,.,,,,.. : , , .. :.,,,...,, : . , : :,. , .. :,,, . , :,: , : , :,. : . : . . . . . ::,, . :: ,. . ::,:: , . ::: , . : , , , .

} * * < } * * * } } < < * } < } ~ ~ ~ ~ < ~ }} }* *~}}* }} **< }}~ * } *}<<< ** } < * <~ ~ < ~ * < ~ < } } ~ ~~ < <~ * ~ <* * *<} <<< ~ } * } < * <** * < ~~} * * } <~<}~} < *} < < * < }* ~*}< <<~ ~ * < << ~} ~~ ~ }*} * ~<~~~}~< } < <~**~~*< }~~* } < *** *< ~ *} ~} * <* <*<}~<* }~* } *~ }} ~ * << < < }*}<<<<<<~<< ~* } < < ~ <} ~ * * ~ ~~ * ~}} ~ ***< < << ~ <~ <}< } } < }} }** * **~ } }*<*< } }**~} ~ } <* < } < } ~ << < }}}}* ~ ~< *~ * < ~ } < * < ** ~ < ~} ~ } }* ~~ ~* ~ } } < *}~ < } * } ~*}} *< * *< < <~ ~ }~ ~~~ ~ ~ ~< *~< } } < << * * < ~ }< } ~ ~~ } }< *< < ~ } } * }~*} }* < < ~ ~ ~} } * ~ }~ *}~* * ~~~ } * }} * } * }

Vjoj U o V oj j V V j jV Vo U j UUU jj j oUjV Uo jV V oojU o j V Vj U j VUo j U o j o o o V o j o j oj V j o j jj U V o V o j o j V UV U o oU j j j o j o jjj o j V o j U V oo o jj j o j o V ooVVo VoV VV Vjjo jj Uoj j U V o o o o oo j j VUo o o jU ojjjjjjj oU ojjoooooooVVVj j U j UUUUUVVVoo U VUUUUU V V UVVVVVVooo jUU UUUUUVojoj j VVVVVojojo jj Uo oV j jU U UUVV j Voo VV V o V V U VVVV U jjU oU joV o U oU V U oo j oo o o U UUoUVUVUU UVV jjoj o j j V jjo oUVoU o j j V o o U j j ooV U oVo o U o UUo UV o o UoUV V V j VV V UVUj oV U V j o V o VU U oUU o o U o o V UVV oV V U o j j j oVVUojj j