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Chris Kelly

22 quotesJazz Musician · United States Of America · Male

All Sex (2)sarcastic (2)Sassy (2)Survivor (2)Shoes (2)Script (1)Feet (1)Baked (1)Crushing It (1)Gross (1)Hot (1)Lips (1)break ups (1)greetings (1)Old (1)

From “2016”

I know you from your ass better than I know your face.

ass face

From “Stolen Phone”

I was so worried I baked a whole cake. And then I ate a whole cake.

worried Baked Cake ate food

From “Pilot”

Well it's very nice to meet all of what you are.

Sassy Sarcasm Nice greetings

I don't care if any of you are famous as long as you are happy.

Famous Love Happy

I'm free to be me, which rhymed. I'm going to be a rapper, rap critic.

Free self exploration expression Rap Rapper

I actually came up with three new ideas for shoes today. One: laces at the bottom. Two: shoes, but invisible. Three: edible shoes.

New Ideas Shoes Laces Innovations

I think he is bisexual, because it's not 2010 anymore. Those people are real now. They exist.

Bisexual sexuality Fluid

Jeff: You know how to see yourself out? Brooke Dubek: Yeah, I just open the door, and I walk out.

Leaving Doors Walking Out sarcastic

He still watches 'Survivor,' which is like violently straight.

Survivor straight Masculinity

We're both busy, you with work, and me with my quest to chase dreams.

Busy Chasing Dreams Quests

I don't know how you still watch this show. I meant there's too many close-ups of feet with bug bites.

Survivor Feet Camera work bug bite Gross

Maybe I can meet you at the baggage carousel bathroom, and kiss you on the lips, your, uh, private lips.

private Lips Hook Up Sex bathroom

They bumped Kerry Washington? What is happening?

Kerry Washington bumped Shocked

Like, the world is my oyster.

World Oyster endless possibilities

Co-Worker: Lance was so hot. Brooke Dubek: When he was 25, but now he's 30. And he still says 'Damn, Daniel.'

break ups embarrassing Damn Daniel Old

Pat Dubek: We're two moms with a lot of things in common. Cary Dubek: Yeah you both have kids.

Sassy Motherhood Children Things In Common

We all have very clean buttholes.

Clean butt Assuring

I have seen one dick in four years. This summer I'm going to see 50 dicks.

Sex hook ups

We love that suit and those heavy shoes.

sarcastic Suit Shoes

You gotta live life to the fullest, 'cause you never know when it's all gonna be over, so you've just got to chase dreams.

Dreams aspiration Life live life to the fullest

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