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Grandpa Gustafson

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All Pickup Lines (2)Hawaii (1)kids (1)disgusting (1)Goldilocks (1)relax (1)Remington (1)low-fat bacon (1)Cholesterol (1)Bacon (1)sexual euphemisms (1)swallowing quarters (1)Three Bears (1)weight loss (1)Horny (1)

From “Grumpy Old Men”

Kids; can't live with them, can't shoot them.

kids

Looks like Chuck's taking old one-eye to the optometrist.

sexual euphemisms

From “Grumpier Old Men”

[to Mama Regatti in the produce section of the market] How about you come back to my place and I'll show you my man-size cannelloni?

Pickup Lines cannelloni

[At Maria's restaurant in front of Ariel, Maria and Max] John: Nobody slept with anybody.' [Shows up in the background] Grandpa Gustafson: Speak for yourself.

Horny dirty old man

[after Allie swallows a quarter] Grandpa: Relax. Kids swallow quarters all the time. Melanie: Really? Grandpa: Sure. If she craps out two dimes and a nickel, then you can start worrying.

relax swallowing quarters

Grandpa: And then the Mama Bear said, ‘Somebody's been sleeping in my bed, too!’ And finally, the Baby Bear looked and he said, ‘Somebody's sleeping in my bed, and the bastard's still there!’ But Goldilocks had a Remington semi-automatic, with a scope and a hair-trigger! Allie, Melanie's Daughter:…

Goldilocks Three Bears Remington

Mama Ragetti: We could have retired in Hawaii. Grandpa Gustafson: I have been to Hawaii. Mama Ragetti: Oh yeah? Which island? Grandpa Gustafson: Come-on-I-wanna-lay-ya. Mama Ragetti: I find you disgusting. Grandpa Gustafson: Well, just as long as you find me.

Pickup Lines disgusting Hawaii

John Gustafson: Pop, I wish you'd try the low-fat bacon. Grandpa Gustafson: Well, you can wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which gets filled first.

Wish Crap low-fat bacon

Grandpa: What the... what the hell is this? John: That's lite beer. Grandpa: Gee, I weigh ninety goddamn pounds, and you bring me this sloppin' foam? John: Ariel's got me on a diet because the doc said my cholesterol's a little too high. Grandpa: Well let me tell you something now, Johnny. Last…

Cholesterol Lite Beer Cigarettes Bacon weight loss

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