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Jason Segel

19 quotesTelevision Actor · Born Jan 18, 1980 · United States Of America · Male

Jason Jordan Segel (/ˈsiːɡəl/; born January 18, 1980) is an American actor, screenwriter, comedian, producer, and author, best known for his role as Marshall Eriksen in the CBS sitcom How I Met Your Mother, as well as for his work with producer Judd Apatow on the television series Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared, and for the critically and commercially successful comedies he's starred in, written and produced. Segel has starred in several films, including Knocked Up (2007), Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008), I Love You, Man (2009), Despicable Me (2010), Jeff, Who Lives at Home (2011), The Muppets (2011), The Five-Year Engagement (2012), Sex Tape (2014) and The Discovery (2017). His performance as the late author David Foster Wallace in the 2015 film The End of the Tour was met with critical acclaim, earning him a nomination for the Independent Spirit Award for Best Male Lead. 2Early life Segel was born January 18, 1980, in Los Angeles, California, the son of Jillian (Jordan) and Alvin Segel, a lawyer. He grew up in the Pacific Palisades neighborhood. His father is Jewish, whereas his mother is Christian. He has stated that he was raised Jewish, as well as "a little bit of everything". Segel went to Hebrew school and had a Bar Mitzvah ceremony, and also attended St. Matthew's Parish School, a private Episcopal school. He wore a Superman cape underneath his clothing until he was 13, "just in case there was trouble." He has an older brother, Adam, and a younger sister, Aliso

All Hawaii (3)Sharks (2)Weddings (2)Surfing (2)Teachers (1)Overstatement (1)how do i love thee (1)Rock God (1)Weather (1)real world (1)Smells Good (1)Passion (1)Rock N' Roll Life (1)Dinner (1)never work out (1)

From “Arrivederci, Fiero”

That’s life, you know, we never end up where you thought you wanted to be.

Life Random Chance

From “Something Borrowed”

Lily, there are a million reasons why I love you. You make me laugh, you take care of me when I'm sick, you're sweet, caring and you even created an egg dish and named it after me. She puts a little Italian dressing on the eggs before she cooks them, it's called Eggs Marshall and it's awesome. But…

Love how do i love thee BFF

From “Dowisetrepla”

Ted, how many times have I told you to put the lid back on the peanut butter jar?! It's this inconsiderate, immature jackassery that makes me feel like I'm living in The Real World house! And not the early days when they all had jobs and social consciences, I'm talking about Hawaii, and after! I…

Peanut Butter inconsiderate real world Hawaii

From “The Final Page”

Revenge fantasies never work out the way you want.

revenge fantasies never work out

From “No Questions Asked”

I've never asked Lily to do anything ‘no questions asked’ because I never wanted to. She's the love of my life. I never keep anything from her.

no questions asked Love of My Life

From “Pilot”

I believe in God, man. I’ve seen him. I’ve felt his power. He plays drums for Led Zeppelin and his name is John Bonham baby!

Rock N' Roll Life Rock God

Look, these teachers...these teachers want us to work, you know? And I say fine...I'll work. But you gotta let me do the kind of work that I wanna do. And for me, Lindsay, it's my—it's my drum kit, man. This my passion, you know? This is- this is the essence of who I am now. But before I had this, I…

Teachers Drum Kit Passion

Nick: Your dad's makin' you go to the dance? What's that all about? Ken: Who's your dad? Hitler?

Hitler Overstatement

From “The Garage Door”

Nick Andopolis: Can you ever not be sarcastic? Ken Miller: [sarcastically] I'm sarcastic?

Sarcasm Irony

From “Chokin' and Tokin'”

Nick: What do people do when they're not stoned? Ken: I dunno. Relate to one another?

Relate stoned

From “Smooching and Mooching”

Wow, that dinner smells good. Let me guess, meat?

Meat Delicious Smells Good Dinner

From “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”

The weather outside is weather.

Weather

Lemme just say that, if God was a city planner, he would not put a playground next to a sewage system!

Oral Sex

Oh, wedding in Hawaii! Real original!

Hawaii Weddings

Oh, wedding in Hawaii! Real original!

Hawaii Weddings

If I have just one sip of wine, by the end of the evening I'll be, like, rimming waiters for their tips, just to get me hands on a rock. You know what I mean?

Alcoholism Alcohol

You could be the queen of the groupies, queen of the Sorrow Suckers.

Surfing Instructor: If you get bitten by a shark, you're not just gonna give up surfing, are you? Peter Bretter: Yeah, probably.

Surfing Sharks

Surfing Instructor: If you get bitten by a shark, you're not just gonna give up surfing, are you? Peter Bretter: Yeah, probably.

Surfing Sharks

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