You know the way I am—rarely ever thinking of myself. My only concern is the welfare and happiness of those close to me. Sure, it hurts sometimes—to give, and give, and give.
Catalog
Jerry Seinfeld
Jerome Allen "Jerry" Seinfeld (born April 29, 1954) is an American comedian, actor, writer, producer, and director. He is known for playing a semifictional version of himself in the sitcom Seinfeld, which he created and wrote with Larry David. Seinfeld was heavily involved in the Bee Movie, in which he voiced its protagonist. In 2010, he premiered a reality series called The Marriage Ref. He directed Colin Quinn in the Broadway show Long Story Short at the Helen Hayes Theater, which ran until January 2011. He is the creator and host of the web series Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. In his stand-up comedy career, Seinfeld is known for specializing in observational comedy, often ranting about relationships and embarrassing social situations. In 2005, Comedy Central named Seinfeld their "12th Greatest Stand-up Comedian of All Time". 2Early life Seinfeld was born in Brooklyn, New York. His father Kalmen Seinfeld collected jokes he heard while serving in World War II. His mother, Betty (née Hosni; born 1914), is of Syrian-Jewish descent; her parents Selim and Salha Hosni were from Alepp
People are going to steal from you. You can't stop them. But, everybody has their own little personal security things—things that they think will foil the crooks, you know? In your own mind, right? ..You go to the beach, go in the water, put your wallet in the sneaker. Who's gonna know? What…
People are going to steal from you. You can't stop them. But, everybody has their own little personal security things—things that they think will foil the crooks, you know? In your own mind, right? ..You go to the beach, go in the water, put your wallet in the sneaker. Who's gonna know? What…
I don't eat dinner. Dinner's for suckers.
I don't eat dinner. Dinner's for suckers.
Do you think it's effeminate for a man to put clothes in a gentle cycle?
Do you think it's effeminate for a man to put clothes in a gentle cycle?
Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body; we just want the body.
Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body; we just want the body.
You know, I tell ya, I gotta say that I'm enjoying adulthood. For a lot of reasons. And, I'll tell you reason number one: as an adult, if I want a cookie, I have a cookie, okay? I have three cookies or four cookies, or eleven cookies if I want. Many times I will intentionally ruin my entire…
You know, I tell ya, I gotta say that I'm enjoying adulthood. For a lot of reasons. And, I'll tell you reason number one: as an adult, if I want a cookie, I have a cookie, okay? I have three cookies or four cookies, or eleven cookies if I want. Many times I will intentionally ruin my entire…
Now here's another little rule. When we see each other now, we retire to our separate quarters. But sometimes, when people get involved with that, they feel pressure to sleep over. When that is not really sleep. Sleep is separate from that. And I don't see why sleep got all tied up and connected…
Now here's another little rule. When we see each other now, we retire to our separate quarters. But sometimes, when people get involved with that, they feel pressure to sleep over. When that is not really sleep. Sleep is separate from that. And I don't see why sleep got all tied up and connected…
I have a vague recollection of doing something with someone, but it was a long, long time ago.
I have a vague recollection of doing something with someone, but it was a long, long time ago.
What do you do at the end of a date when you know you don't want to see this person ever again, for the rest of your life? What do you say? What do you say? No matter what you say, it's a lie. ‘I’ll see you around. See you around. If you're around, and I'm around, I'll see you around that area.…
What do you do at the end of a date when you know you don't want to see this person ever again, for the rest of your life? What do you say? What do you say? No matter what you say, it's a lie. ‘I’ll see you around. See you around. If you're around, and I'm around, I'll see you around that area.…
Ask not what I can do for you—ask what you can do for me.
Ask not what I can do for you—ask what you can do for me.