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Mort Nathan

38 quotesFilm Director · United States Of America · Male

Mort Nathan is an American television producer, screenwriter and film director. He was one of the co-producers and head writers of the comedy show The Golden Girls. Nathan won two Emmy awards, two Golden Globes, and a Writer's Guild of America award for his work on the series. He has written and produced over 150 hours of prime time television shows and directed the feature films Boat Trip, Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj, and Bag Bo

All Bowling (7)Piss (1)bull (1)Tombstone (1)Amish (1)Future (1)coveting thy neighbor's wife (1)Drinking (1)Kick Ass (1)Welder (1)Face the Music (1)Piece of Shit (1)Biscuits (1)Drinking Urine (1)Urine (1)

From “Rose the Prude”

Blanche: I'm going to have to meet men lying down. Sophia: I thought you did.

Double Entendre Slut Shaming

From “The Competition”

Blanche: Well, what do you know? Sophia has a past! Sophia: That's right! But unlike yours, I didn't need penicillin to get through it.

STDs Gonorrhea

Rose: I wonder why Italian men are so romantic. Dorothy: It’s the tight pants, Rose.

Italian Men Tight Pants Romantic

From “A Little Romance”

My son married a welder. Too bad she didn't weld his zipper shut. They got ten kids they can't afford.

Welder birth control Zipper

Blanche: He analyzed my dream. Dorothy: What dream? Blanche: Oh, that recurring dream I have where I'm running naked through a train that keeps going through tunnel after tunnel while a sweaty bodybuilder chases me. He said he thinks it's sexual. Dorothy: He thinks? For God's sake, Blanche, you…

Sexual Dream Bodybuilder

From “Big Daddy”

Rose: Oh, Sophia. I want to explain about last night. When I was a little girl one summer we had a terrible thunderstorm... Sophia: Excuse me Rose, have I given any indication at all that I care?

Disinterest IDGAF Thunderstorm

From “The Way We Met”

Blanche: I also happen to have a room for rent, and the name is Blanche Devereaux. Rose: Why would you name a room Blanche Devereaux?

Dangling Participle

From “Ladies of the Evening”

Jealousy is an ugly thing, Dorothy. And so are you, in anything backless.

Jealousy Backless Dresses insults

From “'Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas”

Blanche: I once was told I bore a striking resemblance to Miss Cheryl Ladd ... although my bosoms are perkier! Dorothy: Not even if you were hanging upside-down on a trapeze!

Boob-Shaming Cheryl Ladd Charlie's Angels

From “Bedtime Story”

I slept with my two brothers until I was seventeen. I was engaged to one for a very short period of time, but that's a separate story.

Incest

From “Long Days Journey into Marinara”

Everything I have, you try to steal. May the bags under your eyes grow so large your head falls in 'em!

Eye Bags Curses

From “A Piece of Cake”

After 80, every year without a headstone is a milestone!

old age Milestone Tombstone

From “Kingpin”

The world can really kick your ass. I only have a VAGUE recollection of when it wasn’t kickin’ mine.

Kick Ass

Roy: What about a gross of fluorescent condoms for the novelty machine in the men’s room? I mean, those are fun even when you’re alone. Lancaster Bowl Manager: Yeah. Roy: You get it? Lancaster Bowl Manager: [impatiently, trying to read his Asian Brides magazine] Yeah! Roy: This is like the hula hoop…

Bowling Alley fluorescent condoms Asian Brides novelty machine

Man in bowling alley: Come on, boy. Bowl! Roy: The name’s not boy. It’s Roy. [makes a spare] Roy Munson.

Bowling

Take that, you freaky piece of shit. You don’t mow another guy’s lawn.

Piece of Shit coveting thy neighbor's wife

Ishmael: You been drinking, Mr. Munson? Roy: I don’t puke when I drink. I puke when I don’t.

Drinking puking

McKnight Bowl Bartender: So, you two are dictionary salesmen? Roy: You would be punctilious in assuming that.

Dictionary Punctilious

ESPN Announcer: So Roy, where have you been for the last fifteen years? Roy: Well, I uh, well, ya see, I uh...drinking. Lot a drinking. ESPN Announcer: I see. Well, are you still drinking? Roy: No. I uh...I put...uh...why, you buying?

Alcoholism

That coffee wasn’t even hot. [takes a sip of coffee] Now, that’s hot.

Hot Coffee

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