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Nick Kroll

205 quotesTelevision Actor · Born Jun 5, 1978 · United States Of America · Male

Nicholas Kroll (born June 5, 1978) is an American actor, comedian, writer, and producer. He is best known for his role as Rodney Ruxin in the FX/FXX comedy series The League, and for creating and starring in the Comedy Central series Kroll Show. He has had supporting roles in films such as I Love You, Man, Date Night, Get Him to the Greek, Dinner for Schmucks, and A Good Old Fashioned Orgy and more prominent roles in films such as Adult Beginners, Joshy, My Blind Brother, Sausage Party, Loving, Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie, and The House. 2Early life and education Kroll was born in New York State, and raised in Rye, New York. He is the son of Lynn and Jules B. Kroll, a businessman who founded Kroll Inc., a corporate investigations and risk consulting firm. The youngest child in the family, he has a brother, Jeremy, and two sisters, Vanessa and Dana. He grew up in a Conservative Jewish family, and attended the Solomon Schechter School of Westchester. He went on to high school at Rye Country Day School. During this time, he also briefly attended The Mountain School in Vermont where he developed his fondness for hiking. In 2001, Kroll graduated from Georgetown Universit

All Love (11)Sex (10)Cartoon Shows (7)Cartoon Network (7)upset (6)Hate (6)Simile Examples (6)Money (6)Metaphor Examples (5)kiss (5)Feelings (5)emotions (4)goal (4)Eat (4)hard (4)

From “The Head Push”

Daniel, you've been a busy little asshole, huh?

Busy Diss Sassy

Hey man I got a medical emergency so I gotta bounce. Jack off twice and page me in the morning.

Cartoon Shows Cartoon Network

Maurice: I know I'm a broken record with this but mercury is in retrograde. Andrew: Enough with the astrology. Maurice: Spoken like a two-faced fuckin' Gemini.

Cartoon Shows Cartoon Network

You're slut shaming me. Shame. On. You.

Cartoon Shows Cartoon Network

This is a witch hunt just like the crucible, all I wanted was a blowjob at a high school party, is that such a crime?

Cartoon Shows Cartoon Network

Jay: How else are men supposed to get blowjobs? Maurice: You lean your head back, arch your crotch in the air and say, 'Dinner is served.'

Cartoon Shows Cartoon Network

I wish women were more sex-positive but we're just not there yet.

Cartoon Shows Cartoon Network

Andrew: What's a head push? Jessi: Its when a man pushes a woman's head to try to get a blowjob. Nick: Wait that's a move!?

Cartoon Shows Cartoon Network

From “Ejaculation”

My dad says when you take into account maternity leave, you do get equal pay.

Stupid Stupid Jay Ironic

Good night, you prince of Westchester, you king of the tri-state area.

Prince tri-state area Goodnight

Good night, you prince of Westchester, you king of the tri-state area.

Prince tri-state area Goodnight

Jessi: Those girls are gonna eat him alive...and then barf him back out because they're bulimic. Matthew: You're fucking funny. She's funny! We're friends now.

Girls eat him alive Barf Bulimic Funny

Andrew Glouberman: I'm coming, I'm coming. Hormone Monster: Not yet, that's why we gotta get to the bathroom, Sweetheart!

coming Sweetheart bathroom

Andrew Glouberman: I'm coming, I'm coming. Hormone Monster: Not yet, that's why we gotta get to the bathroom, Sweetheart!

coming Sweetheart bathroom

From “Everybody Bleeds”

No! Oh, fuck a duck. I'm gonna go? I'm gonna go... fuck a duck.

ducks

From “Girls Are Horny Too”

Dickarus is flying too close to the sun.

Going For It!

From “Requiem for a Wet Dream”

Andrew: So, life started because a giant alien had sex with the Earth? I don't know. That sounds like Scientology. Maury: Yup, of everyone they got the closest.

Scientology Origin Of Life Earth Alien Sex

Ms. Benitez: Oh! Steve! Look at you all dressed up. Coach Steve: Well, it’s a special day! Ms. Benitez: And you’re a special guy. Coach Steve: And I’d kill anyone for you! Ms. Benitez: Well, that’s not necessary… Coach Steve: Oh, that’s a relief, because I’d do it, but it would weigh on me.

Special Love Infatuation Kill Murder

Miss G: Okay, Steve, you're going to have to learn your letters. Coach Steve: Well, obviously, I know the big song. Teepee, fat guy, sideways moon, other fat guy, sideways comb! Miss G: Wow. That is a song.

Letters learn big song Wrong

From “I Survived Jessi's Bat Mitzvah”

Missy: Oh, uh... don't worry, I won't mons push you this time. Andrew: You can mons push me all you want.

Mons Pubis Flirting

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