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Rhett Reese

81 quotesScreenwriter · United States Of America · Male

Rhett Reese is an American film producer, television producer and screenwriter. As a screenwriter, his early credits included Clifford's Really Big Movie and Cruel Intentions 3. He has collaborated with Paul Wernick, writing the films Zombieland, G.I. Joe: Retaliation and Life, as well as Deadpool and its 2018 sequel. Together they also created the reality series The Joe Schmo Show. 2Personal life Reese lives in Los Angeles with his wife, actress, writer and producer Chelsey Cris

All Fucking (8)Twinkies (5)Fuck (4)Bill Murray (4)Self-Referential (3)ass (3)wolverine (2)cardio (2)pacific playland (2)Guns (2)Trust (2)Murder (2)Dubstep (2)Shit (2)Rock Bottom (1)

From “Zombieland”

You are like a giant cock-blocking robot, like, developed in a secret fucking government lab.

cock-blocking Robot Fucking

Wichita: Let’s play the quiet game. Columbus: I’ve actually been meaning to ask you, have you been to Columbus, because I’ve been trying to... Wichita: Have you never played the quiet game?

quiet game colulmbus

Columbus: [Columbus and Wichita are drinking wine] 1997. Was that a good year? Wichita: Yeah! 1997 was a great year! I saw my first R-rated movie...Anaconda. Got my first tattoo, a porpoise. Fake. Had my first kiss...Scotty Lynch. Columbus: Did you guys...[gestures with fingers]...use tongue?…

1997 Tattoos Anaconda orthodontist

So until next time, remember: cardio, seatbelts, and this really has nothing to do with anything, but a little sunscreen never hurt anybody. I’m Columbus, Ohio from Zombieland, saying goodnight.

cardio seatbealts

Wichita: You have just survived the zombie apocalypse and drove halfway across the country...where are you gonna go? Little Rock: [sticks arms up in air] I’m going to Pacific Playland! Woo!

zombie apocalypse pacific playland

Wichita: Yeah. I mean you got the guts of a guppy, but I could hit that. Columbus: Really? Wichita: Or at least give you the intentional walk to first.

Guts puppy baseball metaphors

In Mexico, you know what they call Twinkies? ‘Los submarinos.’

Twinkies Mexico

You’ve got a pretty mouth. [hits a zombie with a banjo]

Deliverance Pretty Mouth

Hop in the car, Evel Knievel. Let’s go ride the rollercoaster.

Evel Knievel Rollercoaster

Come on! Anybody hungry? Tallahassee’s nice this time of year.

Hungry tallahassee

Where are the fucking Twinkies?

Twinkies Fucking Exasperation

Tallahassee: Wow, these fellas really let themselves go. Columbus: And they’re so fat.

slovenly fat Redundant

Columbus: Hey, for fuck’s sake, enough already! We are being chased by ravenous freaks. Like we don’t have enough problems. Oh, they stole my Hummer. Oh, we have trust issues. Well, get over it! We can’t just fucking drive down the road playing I Spy or some shit for two hours like four normal-ass…

Fuck Shit Trust ass Hummer

Hey, a little help with movin’ the couch. We’re makin’ a fort.

couch Fort

[Upon finding a Hummer filled with rifles] Thank God for rednecks.

Rednecks

Columbus: [in voiceover] You see, he was in the ass-kicking business and... Tallahassee: [Tallahassee, in flashback, rounds corner holding two chainsaws and wearing a welding mask, flips mask up] ...business is good.

Ass-Kicking Business

Here’s the deal: I’m not easy to get along with, and I’m sensing you’re a bit of a bitch.

Bitch difficult

Have you ever read that book ‘She’s Just Not That Into You’?

Books Reading she's just not that into you

[turning to Columbus, Wichita, and Little Rock after a zombie kill] What do you think? ‘Zombie Kill of the Week’?

Zombie Kill

[to Columbus] You can do anything you want to a man, but do not fuck with his Cadillac.

Fuck Cadillac

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