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Rhett Reese

81 quotesScreenwriter · United States Of America · Male

Rhett Reese is an American film producer, television producer and screenwriter. As a screenwriter, his early credits included Clifford's Really Big Movie and Cruel Intentions 3. He has collaborated with Paul Wernick, writing the films Zombieland, G.I. Joe: Retaliation and Life, as well as Deadpool and its 2018 sequel. Together they also created the reality series The Joe Schmo Show. 2Personal life Reese lives in Los Angeles with his wife, actress, writer and producer Chelsey Cris

All Fucking (8)Twinkies (5)Fuck (4)Bill Murray (4)Self-Referential (3)ass (3)wolverine (2)cardio (2)pacific playland (2)Guns (2)Trust (2)Murder (2)Dubstep (2)Shit (2)Rock Bottom (1)

From “Deadpool 2”

[from trailer] Your time's up, you dumb fuck.

Time's Up dumb Fuck

I use a device to slide through time. The longer I travel, the harder it is to control. I got two charges: One to get me here, one to get me home.

time travel battery charge

Dubstep is for pussies!

Dubstep Pussies

Here's a spoiler alert. You're not a fucking hero. You're just an annoying clown dressed up as a sex toy.

fucking hero Annoying sex toy Clown

From trailer, playing with action figures] Zip it, Cable! I got the stones to help you! [Teabags Cable's action figure with Deadpool's action figure]

zip it action figures teabagging

I hope you sharpened the cream cheese spreader. [throws the spreader onto a criminal who's about to shoot Vanessa, successfully killing him] I'll be right back. [uses Cable's time-traveling device; to Vanessa] We're definitely naming our kid Cher! Wooooo!

Cher Cream Cheese

[From trailer] [looks at Cable's incomplete intro] What in the actual ass? Steel! Why...why are the visual effects not done? It's a metal arm! It's not like we're trying to remove a mustache!

mustache Steel Metal visual effects

What do you get when you take eight feet of chrome, one pinch of courage, a cup of good luck, a dab of racism, a splash of diabetes, and a wheelbarrow full of stage 4 cancer? Answer: a family. See? I didn't lie on what kind of film this was. If there's anything you take away today, other than the…

racism Courage Diabetes cancer Google

I'll be the first to admit: This did not go according to plan. I'll also be the first to admit that that plan was written in crayon. Looks like Russell found a new friend, Jelly. Turns out Domino is a bit of a badass and maybe possibly mildly lucky. But Cable, yeesh, that guy's in the mood. A mood…

Friend badass Lucky

In every film, there's a moment when the hero hits rock bottom. In Cool Runnings, it was when John Candy's prized bobsled broke. In Human Centipede, it was when those people signed on to be in that movie. But in this film, well, you're looking at it. Rock, meet bottom.

human centipede john candy Rock Bottom Hero cool runnings

You killed Black Tom, you racist son of a bitch!

Murder racist

[To Cable] You're so dark. You sure you're not from the DC Universe?

DC Comics dark

[after listening to Cable's monologue] Well, [he looks at the viewer] that's just lazy writing.

Monologue lazy writing

[after the X-Force team was killed off accidentally in a series of mishaps] Good news and bad news. Bad news is the whole team is dead. The good news is I don't think anyone is gonna miss Shatterstar. He was a bit of a prick.

Prick Good News Bad News

[speaks in Spanish] Donde esta la biblioteca? Which literally translates to 'I don't bargain, pumpkin-fucker'.

spanish biblioteca fucker pumpkin-fucker

[while going around the X-Mansion using Professor X's wheelchair] All these elderly white men on the walls. Should have brought my rape whistle.

Ageism Anti-White Anti-Male rape whistle

Is it just me or does 'Do You Wanna Build a Snowman' from Frozen sound suspiciously like 'Papa, Can You Hear Me?' from Yentl? [singing] 'Papa, can you hear me?' [starts speaking again] And nobody fucking realizes it.

frozen Yentl Fucking

[narrating while executing Russian criminals] My world tour brought me home to this guy: Sergei Valishnikov, but we'll get to him in a moment. 'cause I know what you're thinking: 'I'm so glad I left the kiddos at home.' But that's where you'd be wrong. That babysitter of yours is high as fuck right…

babysitter high as fuck The Lion King Saw 7 Bambi

[narrating after attempting suicide by blowing himself up] Fuck Wolverine. First he rides my coattails with the R-rating, and then, that hairy motherfucker ups the ante by dying. What a dick. Well, guess what, Wolvie? I'm dying in this one, too.

Motherfucker dick r-rating wolverine

From “Deadpool”

I had another Liam Neeson nightmare. I kidnapped his daughter and he just wasn't having it. [Lies down in bed beside Vanessa] They made three of those movies. At some point you have to wonder if he's just a bad parent.

liam neeson Nightmare Kidnapping

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