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Ryan Ridley

26 quotesScreenwriter · Male

All Sex (3)penis (3)Marriage (2)Loser (2)party (2)Fatherhood (2)Catchphrase (2)Life (2)Mermaid (1)tension (1)Twins (1)Obsessed (1)Leonardo DiCaprio (1)Wine (1)mean (1)

From “Lawnmower Dog”

Morty: You're talking about Inception? Rick: That's right, Morty! This is gonna be a lot like that, except y'know, it's gonna me-beh... make sense. Morty: Inception made sense! Rick: You don't have to try and impress me, Morty!

Inception Dreams Impressive confusing minds

From “Rixty Minutes”

All this time, you've been thinking, 'What if that loser Jerry hadn't talked me out of the abortion?' Well, now you know, you'd be a doctor. Whoop-dee-doo. You'd also be drinking wine, alone in a house full of exotic birds. And I'd be on DiCaprio's yacht, banging Kristen Stewart!

Loser Marriage Abortion Wine Exotic Birds

From “Close Rick-Counters of the Rick Kind”

Don't break an arm jerking yourself off, Morty.

masturbation Jerking Off Broken Arm

From “Ricksy Business”

Bird Person: Morty, do you know what wubba lubba dub dub means? Morty: Oh, that's just Rick's stupid nonsense catchphrase. Bird Person: It's not nonsense at all. In my people's tongue, it means, I am in great pain. Please help me.

Catchphrase Nonsense Pain Meaning

And this is why you don't invite a Floopy Doop and a Shmoopy Doop to the same party.

party Invitation tension

Rick: When's the last time you got laid, 'pers? Birdperson: It has been a... challenging mating season for Birdperson.

Laid Mating Mating Season Challenging

I love watching bukkake. I mean, like, I don't know if I would personally ever do it.

Porn Sex Sex Acts Watching

TO GET R*ugghhb*IGGITY RIGGITY WRECKED SOONN

Drinking party crazy Wrecked

It's not the same, Summer! Lincler's a crazed maniac. He's just a misguided effort of mine to create a morally neutral super-leader by combining the DNA of Adolf Hitler and Abraham Lincoln. Turns out that ehh-it just adds up to a lame, weird... loser.

Abraham Lincoln Adolf Hitler DNA Maniac Loser

From “Auto Erotic Assimilation”

[addressing Rick] You and Unity are like... like leggings and mid-calf boots. You think you're great together, but you're just bringing out the worst in each other.

Don't waste your brain on those weirdos, Unity. They're no different from any of the aimless chumps that you occupy. They just put you at the center of their lives because you're powerful. And then, because they put you there, they want you to be less powerful. Never gonna happen though, right?

Dating Power empowerment

Morty: Uhm, should we maybe stop somewhere and get you a coffee? Maybe splash a little water on your face, or...? Unity: No, no. If I wanted to be sober, I wouldn't have gotten drunk.

[they both exchange kisses, upping their sexual arousal] Unity: Yes, Rick, yes! Yes, yes! Rick: Wait, wait, stop! H-Hold it! Not like this. We need a hang glider, and a crotchless Uncle Sam costume, and I want the entire field of your largest stadium covered end to end with naked redheads, and I…

Sex Hang Glider Fantasy Uncle Sam Crotchless

From “Interdimensional Cable 2”

Yes, I will! That's right, assholes! Take my penis. Take it all!! And tell Shrimply Pibbles that when the galaxy came calling, Jerry Smith from Earth didn't flinch!

penis galaxy Flinch Donor

Pichael Thompson: And then they found out I was attached along for the ride and they said, 'Ah, shit. Well, just fuck it, call him Pichael.' Michael Thompson: [throws papers at Pichael's face] Fuck you, Pichael! You're a fucking piece of shit!

Twins Siblings Conflict Conjoined

Shrimply Pibbles: I've dwelt among the humans. Their entire culture is built around their penises. It's funny to say they are small. It's funny to say they are big. I've been at parties where humans held bottles, pencils, thermoses in front of themselves and called out, 'Hey, look at me. I'm Mr.…

Dick Jokes Genocide Species defensive penis

Ambassador: Mr. Smith, Shrimply Pibbles' life can be saved... if we replace his heart with your human penis. Jerry: I see... Wait, what?!

penis Organs Heart Transplant Life Saved

From “Look Who's Purging Now”

Jerry: What' you doing? Watching some tv, playing on your phone? Summer: Is that a real question? Jerry: Just making conversation. Summer: Are you? What part of that gives me anything to work with? My choice is to: say nothing, be sarcastic, or bark "yes" like a trained animal. It's not a…

Sassy Fatherhood Daughter Conversation

SCREW YOU, RICK! I'LL PURGE YOU TOO, YOU OLD... "RICKETY" PIECE OF CRAP! THIS HAS BEEN A LONG TIME COMING! I'M GONNA RIP YOUR FUCKING GUTS OUT AND SMEAR 'EM ALL OVER YOUR FACE! I AIN'T TAKING NO SH-AAAHH!!

Purge Guts Violence

From “The Rickshank Redemption”

We're miserable Morty! There's a mandatory curfew, their weird calendar made me 47, and they've weaponized the Eiffel tower!

curfew calendar weapons Eiffel Tower

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