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1,631 quotes

“What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes or Ice Crispies.”

“Why do Christmas trees like the past so much? Because the present’s beneath them.”

“Why don’t crabs celebrate Christmas? Because they’re shell-fish.”

“What do you call a cat on the beach on Christmas Day? Sandyclaws.”

“Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store? He was searching for some holiday spirit.”

“What do elves learn in school? The elfa-bet.”

“What do you call an elf that can sing and dance? Elfis.”

“How do you know when Santa’s around? You can always sense his presents.”

“What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate clauses.”

“What do reindeers say before they tell you a joke? This one’s gonna sleigh you!”

“What do you call a scary looking reindeer? A cari-boo.”

“What’s every elf’s favorite type of music? Wrap.”

“What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has No-el.”

“What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish.”

“What’s the absolute best Christmas present? A broken drum—you can’t beat it!”

“Why do mummies like Christmas so much? They’re into all the wrapping.”

“What’s Santa’s favorite snack food? Crisp Pringles.”

“What do you call a blind reindeer? I have no eye deer.”

“What do you get when you cross a duck with Santa? A Christmas quacker.”

“How do you help someone who’s lost their Christmas spirit? Nurse them back to elf.”