“Why does Santa Claus have no children?Answer: because he only comes once a year!”Tagged: Puns, Dirty Puns
“A couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve. They feel a slight precipitation. ‘I think it’s raining,’ says the man. ‘No, it’s snowing,’ replies the woman. ‘How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!’ exclaims the man. ‘Officer Rudolph, is it raining or…”Tagged: Puns
“Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.”Tagged: Funny Quotes, Two-Liners, Math Jokes, Puns, Parallel Lines
“Two mallards walk into a bar, the third one ducks.”Tagged: Funny Quotes, One-Liners, Puns, Animal Jokes
“I removed the shell from my racing snail to make him go faster, but if anything it made him more sluggish.”Tagged: Funny Quotes, Animal Jokes, Puns, One-Liners
“Like a German vegetarian, I feared the wurst.”Tagged: Funny Quotes, German, Wurst, Puns, play on words
“My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.”Tagged: Funny Jokes, Animal Jokes, Flamingos, Dating, Relationships
“What do you get when you cross a dick with a potato? A dictator.”Tagged: Puns, Dirty Jokes, Dictators
“What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth? A glad-he-ate-her.”Tagged: Roman, Dirty Jokes, Puns
“What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth? A glad-he-ate-her.”Tagged: Roman, Dirty Jokes, Puns
“What do you do when your cat’s dead? Play with the neighbor’s pussy instead.”Tagged: Dirty Jokes, Pussy, Puns, Double Entendre
“What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave? Thanks for coming!”Tagged: Dirty Jokes, Puns, Double Entendre, Sperm Bank
“What do you call a guy who cries when he masturbates? A tearjerker.”Tagged: Dirty Jokes, masturbation, Puns
“What do you call a nanny with breast implants? A faux-pair.”Tagged: Breast Implants, Puns, Dirty Jokes
“What do you do with a year’s worth of used condoms? Melt them into a tire and call it a Goodyear.”Tagged: Goodyear, Puns, condoms, Dirty Jokes
“Why did the woman leave her husband after he spent all their money on a penis enlarger? She just couldn’t take it any longer.”Tagged: Penis Enlargers, Dirty Jokes, Puns