“It takes 26 muscles to smile and 62 muscles to frown, so don't ever say that I don't go out of my way for you.”Tagged: Funny, Funny One-Liners, Short Jokes, Best Jokes, Smile
“What do you say to a drunk who walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck? You can stay. Just don’t try to start anything.”Tagged: Funny, humor
“What’s the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.”Tagged: Funny, humor
“Money doesn’t grow on trees, right? So why does every bank have so many branches?”Tagged: Funny, humor
“Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field.”Tagged: Funny, humor
“A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke. Thank goodness it was a soft drink.”Tagged: Funny, humor
“What’s the tallest building in the world? The library, cause it has the most stories.”Tagged: Funny, humor
“What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? One says, 'Spit out your gum' and the other says, 'Choo choo choo.'”Tagged: Funny, humor
“Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police better be on the lookout for two hardened criminals.”Tagged: Funny, humor
“What do you call someone wearing a belt with a watch attached to it? A waist of time.”Tagged: Funny, humor
“Did you hear about the guy who broke both his left arm and left leg? He’s all right now.”Tagged: Funny, humor