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Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

by Kevin Smith, Jay, Jason Mewes, Ben Affleck, Jeff Anderson and 54 others(37 total)

When Jay and Silent Bob learn that their comic-book alter egos, Bluntman and Chronic, have been sold to Hollywood as part of a big-screen movie that leaves them out of any royalties, the pair travels to Tinseltown to sabotage the production.

Characters

Kevin Smith (37)Jason Mewes (15)Jay (15)Holden McNeil/Himself (6)Ben Affleck (6)Chris Rock (5)Will Ferrell (5)Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly (5)Chaka (5)Sissy (1)

It is a comic book, not your dick! Show some respect. Hold it like you'd hold a woman.

— Kevin Smith, Brodie Bruce/Banky Edwards, Jason Lee, imdb.com

comic book dick Respect

Don't fuck with the Jedi Master, son.

— Kevin Smith, Cock-Knocker, Mark Hamill, imdb.com

Fuck Jedi

Y'know, I don't get you, Justice. You used to be into all this girl stuff. Stealing, boning, blowing shit up, and now you're like this little priss with a conscience. It's really a fucking drag.

— Kevin Smith, Sissy, Eliza Dushku, imdb.com

girl stuff boning Stealing blowing shit up

Fuck Jay and Silent Bob. Fuck them up their stupid asses.

— Kevin Smith, Holden McNeil/Himself, Ben Affleck, imdb.com

Fuck Anal Rape stupid asses

Whillenholly: Fire a warning shot into his bulbous ass. Sheriff: One rectal breach comin' up.

— Kevin Smith, Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly, Will Ferrell, imdb.com

warning shot bulbous ass rectal breach

And we do want to say to the people at home, the clit is not something to be played with.

— Kevin Smith, Reg Hartner, Jon Stewart, imdb.com

Clit

See? I told you that restraining order was a good idea.

— Kevin Smith, Randal Graves, Jeff Anderson, imdb.com

Restraining Order

Why in God's name would I wanna keep writing about characters whose central preoccupation are weed and dick and fart jokes? I mean, ya gotta grow, man. Don't you ever want anything more for yourself? I know this poor hapless son of a bitch does. I look into his sorry doe eyes and I just, I see a man…

— Kevin Smith, Holden McNeil/Himself, Ben Affleck, imdb.com

Grow Up Dick Jokes weed jokes Fart Jokes Fuck

[regarding the Bluntman and Chronic movie] Randal Graves: That was definitely worse than Clash of the Titans. Dante Hicks: I can't believe Judi Dench played me. Randal Graves: Remind me to renew that restraining order. Dante Hicks: Why? Randal Graves: Because I'm going to blast that flick on the Int…

— Kevin Smith, Holden McNeil/Himself, Ben Affleck, imdb.com

clash of the titans judi dench Restraining Order

Nothing. The Internet has given everybody in America a voice. For some reason, everybody decides to use that voice to bitch about movies.

— Kevin Smith, Holden McNeil/Himself, Ben Affleck, imdb.com

Internet Bitch

Nights like this...I miss dating a lesbian.

— Kevin Smith, Holden McNeil/Himself, Ben Affleck, imdb.com

Lesbian Dating Regret

Well, look at these morose motherfuckers right here. Looks like somebody shit in their cereal.

— Kevin Smith, Holden McNeil/Himself, Ben Affleck, imdb.com

morose Motherfuckers Shit cereal

Whillenholly: [Jay and Silent Bob are hiding in the diner] They've got a monkey in there? Sheriff: An ape. Whillenholly: What? Sheriff: An orangutan's a member of the great ape family, it's not a monkey. Whillenholly: Look, who's the Federal Wildlife Marshal here, me or you? That's what I thought.

— Kevin Smith, Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly, Will Ferrell, imdb.com

Monkey Ape orangutan federal wildlife marshal

Whillenholly: [to Banky] Wow, there's a lot of love in the room. Banky: Regardless of what you may have heard, I do not kiss guys. Whillenholly: OK, play it cool, hot shot.

— Kevin Smith, Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly, Will Ferrell, imdb.com

Love Homophobia hot shot

It may not be my way, but damn if there doesn't go one happy family. All right, gang, let's just shoot some tear gas into the diner, and then when the guys come out with the monkey, we'll...Fuckbeans. That was them, wasn't it?

— Kevin Smith, Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly, Will Ferrell, imdb.com

happy family Monkey tear gas

Do you think 'Fat Albert' had an inker? No, Bill Cosby did the whole thing with a roller and it was EXCELLENT.

— Kevin Smith, Chaka, Chris Rock, imdb.com

Bill Cosby fat albert

[Willenholly and the Utah police confront Jay and Silent Bob] Sheriff: Are you fucking crazy? Now they may be gay, but that's not their son. That's the ape. Whillenholly: I think I would recognize an ape if I saw one, okay? And the only thing I do recognize right now is the political fiasco I'm abou…

— Kevin Smith, Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly, Will Ferrell, imdb.com

Brady Bunch Butt-Fucking gay Ape fiasco

Duck, pie-fucker! Damn, these white boys can't fight.

— Kevin Smith, Chaka, Chris Rock, imdb.com

White Boys pie-fucker Anti-White

Banky: Uh, Chaka? Hi, I'm Banky Edwards, the creator of Bluntman and Chronic. We met a few weeks back, I'm the executive producer. Chaka: Oh, you're the executive producer. Well, why don't you executive produce me a latte—De-Crackernated. OK, Fucky? Banky: Actually, it's Banky. Chaka: No, it is Fuck…

— Kevin Smith, Chaka, Chris Rock, imdb.com

executive producer Cracker

Do you know that I came up with the idea for Sesame Street? I came up with it before PBS. The white man stole it. That's right. I was gonna call it ’N.W.P.’—Niggaz Wit' Puppets. Catchy, ain't it?

— Kevin Smith, Chaka, Chris Rock, imdb.com

Anti-White Sesame Street PBS

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