Mike Baxter: [after almost driving into a sinkhole] Oh, man! You good? It's all good. It's all good. Hold on a second. [puts car in reverse and pushes Boyd back into his seat] Get back in there. Sit back down. [after backing away from the sinkhole] Okay, listen, you sure you're all right? Boyd Baxte…
Catalog
Episode
Sinkhole
After having a close call with a sinkhole on the interstate, Boyd becomes scared to leave the house; Mike and Ryan disagree over how to ease Boyd's anxiety.
President Richard Nixon once said, 'People react to fear, not love.' Easy for him to say because he was kinda scary and nobody loved him.
Eve Baxter: [reading the newspaper] Why can't the people in the Middle East keep it together? Mandy Baxter: [reading a celeb gossip magazine] Why can't Taylor Swift hold onto a boyfriend? Eve Baxter: Why can't North Korea join the rest of the world community? Mandy Baxter: Why can't Courteney Cox jo…
Ed Alzate: With this water purifier they can drink their own pee. Mike Baxter: Or river water, or lake water. But by all means, use the pee as a selling point.
Eve Baxter: Stick around. You'll learn something about the world. Mandy Baxter: I know all about the world. I was already in it while you were still busy ruining Mom's body.
Mike Baxter: Okay, what Supreme Court justice do we want to retire? Boyd Baxter: Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Mike Baxter: Nice! And what are the five justices that we want to stay on forever? Boyd Baxter: Don't tell me, I know this one... Mike Baxter: I gave you a little hint, remember? The star method? S-…