Season 2

“I found the Fountain of Youth! It's the toilet!”

— Joan Binder Weiss, David Weiss, Salem Saberhagen (voice), Nick Bakay, imdb.com

“Quizmaster: No, I’m here to inform you that you can expect a very big Witch Exam sometime soon. Sabrina: It doesn’t involve changing the earth’s orbit, does it? Because the last time I tried that, a little thing called El Nino happened.”

— David Lesser, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com

“Dr. Brickman: Hello, I’m Dr. Brickman. Sabrina: Let me guess, he has cold hands? Zelda: Don’t worry, he performed his first operation at two. Dr. Brickman: I even supervised my own birth — I’m a complete professional.”

— Frank Conniff, Zelda Spellman, Beth Broderick, imdb.com

“Libby: Well, I’ll be using me as shorthand for us. I’ve already got the floral design in my head. Sabrina: Oh, well I’m glad your butt is working. Oh, I’ll be using butt as shorthand for your head.”

— Frank Conniff, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com

“Libby: What’s your problem, Freak? Hoping Santa will give you a personality this year? Sabrina: And a crossbow!”

— Charlie Tercek, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com

“Sabrina: Why didn't you guys tell me that there's a rule that on Friday the 13th I can tell a mortal I'm a witch? Hilda: Oh the one where you can tell anyone you want and they can know for a whole twenty-four hours? Sabrina: Yes. Zelda: We didn't want you to know.”

— Carrie Honigblum, Renee Phillips, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com

“Hippie Driver: Did that cat just talk? Or am I picking up his thoughts telepathically? Salem: You're right. You can read my mind. And now you're sensing my great need to stop in Philadelphia for a cheese-steak. Hippie Driver: I’m communicating with animals! This is so radical. Salem: Just drive, Woo…”

— Sheldon Bull, Salem Saberhagen (voice), Nick Bakay, imdb.com

“Salem: FREEZE! Don’t squirt that perfume, unless you want to be a boy who gets beaten up! Sabrina: Man, that was close! Salem: It’s not enough to look like a dude, you have to start thinking like a dude. Have you picked a name yet? Sabrina: Kirby? Salem: We’re back to getting beaten up here...”

— Nick Bakay, Salem Saberhagen (voice), Nick Bakay, imdb.com

“Valerie: I was just invited to a party. Sabrina: At seven o’clock? Valerie: Well, I wasn’t exactly invited, but people saw me hear about it and didn’t warn me to keep away. D’ya wanna come?”

— Carrie Honigblum, Renee Phillips, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com

“I remember the first time a boy gave me a star... Next thing I knew, three wise men were at the door.”

— Holly Hester, Hilda Spellman, Caroline Rhea, imdb.com

“Sgt. Slater: Spellman, Spellman... Why is that name so familiar? Hilda Spellman... Hilda Thorn-In-My-Side Spellman! Don't tell me you're related to Hilda Spellman? Sabrina: ...Okay!”

— Carrie Honigblum, Renee Phillips, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com