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Salem Saberhagen (voice)

11 quotes

All joke (5)Sassy (4)Magic (3)Rude (2)Apology (2)animal (2)Telepathy (1)party (1)Power Hungry (1)Understanding (1)rule (1)Amway (1)Sarcasm (1)Fountain of Youth (1)Fireworks (1)

From “A Halloween Story”

M’Lady: Salem, you’re the only one who understands me. Salem: Yeah, but it doesn’t mean I care.

Understanding Connection joke Rude Sassy

From “A Girl and Her Cat”

Zelda: Salem, you owe Sabrina an apology. Now! Salem: I’m thinking of how to word it. Hilda: Try 'I’m sorry.' Salem: Somehow, that just doesn’t feel right...

Sorry Apology Sassy Bitchy Rude

From “First Kiss”

Sabrina: Salem, what are you doing? Salem: Nothing! Sabrina: You’re in a chatroom again pretending to be a woman, aren’t you? Salem: I like the attention

Catfish Technology Chatroom Attention joke

From “Sabrina, the Teenage Boy”

Salem: FREEZE! Don’t squirt that perfume, unless you want to be a boy who gets beaten up! Sabrina: Man, that was close! Salem: It’s not enough to look like a dude, you have to start thinking like a dude. Have you picked a name yet? Sabrina: Kirby? Salem: We’re back to getting beaten up here...

manhood Boy Gender Swap Magic toxic masculinity

From “Inna-Gadda-Sabrina”

Hippie Driver: Did that cat just talk? Or am I picking up his thoughts telepathically? Salem: You're right. You can read my mind. And now you're sensing my great need to stop in Philadelphia for a cheese-steak. Hippie Driver: I’m communicating with animals! This is so radical. Salem: Just drive,…

joke cats Magic woodstock Telepathy

From “Oh What a Tangled Spell She Weaves”

I found the Fountain of Youth! It's the toilet!

Fountain of Youth Fantasy Supernatural joke Toilet

From “Boy Was My Face Red”

Salem: I’m so happy, I could plotz! Sabrina: Not on the kitchen table. Salem: You can say goodbye to this furry little punim! Hilda: Salem, what’s with all the Yiddish? Are you going into show business? Salem: I’m online with a camel in Jerusalem who used to be an Amway salesman. Zelda: Why did the…

joke Amway Pyramid Schemes Yiddish Camel

From “Salem, the Boy”

I'm sorry, Sabrina. I didn't want to hurt you; I just wanted to rule you.

Power Hungry rule Sassy Apology

From “The Big Sleep”

Salem: Let's destroy everything that's dear to him. Let's indoctrinate him into the cathedral of agony. Zelda: I'm going to write him a very stern letter. Salem: You're a regular Mad Max, aren't you?

Revenge mad max Agony Destruction Sarcasm

From “Some of My Best Friends are Half-Mortals”

Salem: That's awful. I hate prejudice. Do you know how many women have rejected me just because I have four legs and a tail? It's wrong, I tell ya! Why don't they care about what's inside? Sabrina: Salem, what's on the inside of you, is a selfish, misogynistic pig. Salem: Hey, pigs are people too!

Cat animal Pig Dating misogynist

From “Spellmanian Slip”

Harvey: Salem invited me. He said there would be food and fireworks. Salem: I have lighted the fuse. Now I just have to wait for the kapowie! Muahahaha!

Evil Devious Fireworks party Explosion

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