season 1

“A sandwich sure tastes better with milk.”

— Frank Tarloff, Opie Taylor, Ron Howard, imdb.com

“Mr. Carter: Course I know the reason I'm shootin' at him. Andy Taylor: Well, how come? Mr. Carter: Cause he's a Wakefield. Andy Taylor: What does that mean to you? Mr. Carter: It means I gotta shoot at him. Andy Taylor: Well why do you have to shoot at him? Mr. Carter: Cause he's a Wakefield.”

— Frank Tarloff, Sheriff Andy Taylor, Andy Griffith, imdb.com

“Andy Taylor: Goodbye, goodbye. Partin' is such sweet sorrow that I would say goodbye till it be morrow. Opie Taylor: What's THAT mean? Andy Taylor: Well, that means I'd love to set and jaw with ya a while longer, but I got to be a-movin' on.”

— Frank Tarloff, Sheriff Andy Taylor, Andy Griffith, imdb.com

“Opie Taylor: What's a soliloquy? Andy Taylor: Well a soliloquy is where you kind of look away off and kinda talk to yourself. Opie Taylor: Oh. Andy Taylor: They used to do that a whole lot back then. You do it today and somebody will take you away.”

— Frank Tarloff, Opie Taylor, Ron Howard, imdb.com

“Well, what would ANY husband say to his widow? Thank her for the nice funeral she gave you, for the kind words on your headstone. Why, you got a lot to talk about. Look alive, now.”

— Arthur Stander, Sheriff Andy Taylor, Andy Griffith, imdb.com

“Sheriff Andy Taylor: Now, you can't be serious about resignin'. What in the world will you do? Deputy Barney Fife: Oh, I-I don't know. I could go up to the pickle factory. They always need a brine tester.”

— Arthur Stander, Barney Fife, Don Knotts, imdb.com

“I once knew a horse that didn't even know how to fix a sore finger. Played a great guitar, but was nothin' with first aid.”

— Arthur Stander, Sheriff Andy Taylor, Andy Griffith, imdb.com

“You better hush. I'll arrest you for bein' a disorderly corpse.”

— Arthur Stander, Sheriff Andy Taylor, Andy Griffith, imdb.com

“Opie Taylor: Go on, pa. You gotta fall down and die. Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, I'll tell you the truth, son. I just got other things to do. I'm just too blame busy to die right now. Opie Taylor: Aw, shucks. Sheriff Andy Taylor: I'll die a little later on if I get the chance, though.”

— Arthur Stander, Opie Taylor, Ron Howard, imdb.com

“I don't know why I am always gettin' my britches caught on my own pitchfork.”

— Arthur Stander, Sheriff Andy Taylor, Andy Griffith, imdb.com

“Oh, Aunt Bee, what they got in mind for me is as clear as the nose on a warthog's face.”

— Frank Tarloff, Sheriff Andy Taylor, Andy Griffith, imdb.com

“Emma Brand: Aye, Sheriff, I come to report a murder. Sheriff Andy Taylor: A murder? Emma Brand: That's right. Sheriff Andy Taylor: Somebody's been murdered? Emma Brand: Yes. Sheriff Andy Taylor: Who? Emma Brand: Me! Sheriff Andy Taylor: You? Emma Brand: Yes, and I'll tell you who done it! That lady…”

— Jack Elinson, Charles Stewart, Sheriff Andy Taylor, Andy Griffith, imdb.com

“I'm goin' downhill fast, and you're the one that pushed me.”

— Jack Elinson, Charles Stewart, Emma Brand, Cheerio Meredith, imdb.com

“Opie Taylor: [entering the courthouse] Hi. You seen my pa? He's the sheriff. Bobby Fleet: You mean he's human enough to have kids? Opie Taylor: Huh? Bobby Fleet: Never mind. He stepped out for a minute. Opie Taylor: Oh. [looking at all the fellas] Pa musta rounded up a gang. You look like from the c…”

— Jack Elinson, Charles Stewart, Opie Taylor, Ron Howard, imdb.com

“Deputy Barney Fife: He got the drop on me. Sheriff Andy Taylor: You mean he had a gun? Deputy Barney Fife: Ugh...well...he has NOW.”

— Charles Stewart, Jack Elinson, Barney Fife, Don Knotts, imdb.com

“Deputy Barney Fife: You'll never guess what's happened. Something big. Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, what is it? Deputy Barney Fife: Biggest thing ever happened in Mayberry. REAL big. Big. BIG big. Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, now, now just simmer down, Barney. What is it? Deputy Barney Fife: Well, I'm t…”

— Charles Stewart, Jack Elinson, Sheriff Andy Taylor, Andy Griffith, imdb.com

“Opie Taylor: Can I run away from home? Sheriff Andy Taylor: Uh... you... you want to run away from home? Well, now, uh, if-if-if that's what you got on your mind, well, you-you goin' about it all wrong. Opie Taylor: I am? Sheriff Andy Taylor: Oh, yeah. You ain't supposed to ask your pa. Opie Taylor:…”

— Charles Stewart, Jack Elinson, Opie Taylor, Ron Howard, imdb.com

“Rose: Opie, dear, I'm marryin' Mr. Pine because I love him. Opie Taylor: I thought you loved ME. Rose: I do, Opie. Opie Taylor: You don't catch me marryin' somebody else.”

— Charles Stewart, Jack Elinson, Opie Taylor, Ron Howard, imdb.com

“Sheriff Andy Taylor: Anybody here know why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace. I now pronounce you man... Opie Taylor: I know why they shouldn't be married. Sheriff Andy Taylor: Opie, what're you tryin' to do? Opie Taylor: I'm speakin' now so's I won't have to forever…”

— Jack Elinson, Charles Stewart, Opie Taylor, Ron Howard, imdb.com