Season 2

“Phyllis Lindstrom: For the past two years I've been teaching a course, showing mothers how to relate to their children. Mary Richards: Phyllis, isn't that a ceramics course you teach? Phyllis Lindstrom: They think it's a ceramics class.”

— Lorenzo Music, Phyllis Lindstrom, Cloris Leachman, imdb.com

“An ounce of perversion is worth a pound of cure.”

— Steven Pritzker, Ted Baxter, Ted Knight, imdb.com

“Ted has been in love ever since he was a baby and saw his reflection in the bathwater.”

— Lorenzo Music, Murray Slaughter, Gavin MacLeod, imdb.com

“Lou: I guess I'm what you'd call a male chauvinist pig. Mary: She, uh, she wasn't right. Lou: I'm glad we're communicating. Mary: What was wrong with her? Lou: Well, for one thing, when she walked out of here, I didn't watch her. Mary: Oh. You mean, uh…she—she didn't have any, uh— [Mary motions at h…”

— Lorenzo Music, Lou Grant, Ed Asner, imdb.com

“Phyllis: [to Mary and Rhoda] I thought I'd see how you swingin' singles spend your evenings! Rhoda: They're not much different than yours. We sit around at night wondering what it'd be like to have a happy marriage.”

— Susan Silver, Phyllis Lindstrom, Cloris Leachman, imdb.com

“[after a date with Hal Baxter] I made the mistake of asking him which was his bad side. You know, we looked for it for ten minutes. We couldn't find it. We found mine right away, though. It's the front.”

— Treva Silverman, Rhoda Morgenstern, Valerie Harper, imdb.com

“Ida: As a matter of fact, I'm not wearing a bra. Rhoda: Ma! Go upstairs and put some clothes on! Ida: What's the matter, you can't handle somebody who's a little 'with it?' Rhoda: You're not with it. You're without it. Now go upstairs and get it.”

— Lorenzo Music, Rhoda Morgenstern, Valerie Harper, imdb.com

“Phyllis: Believe it or not, I too once had a feeling of inadequacy. Rhoda: Oh, no. We're not going to hear about your honeymoon again, are we?”

— Susan Silver, Phyllis Lindstrom, Cloris Leachman, imdb.com

“Rhoda: [about her mother] I think she's holding a grudge because I didn't go into the profession she wanted. Mary: What's that? Rhoda: A housewife.”

— Lorenzo Music, Rhoda Morgenstern, Valerie Harper, imdb.com

“[on air] I've just been handed a bulletin. [reading in announcer's voice] You've got something between your teeth.”

— Susan Silver, Ted Baxter, Ted Knight, imdb.com

“How d'ya like that? I flunked a sexual IQ test and passed a national driver's test...and Mary, I'm a lousy driver!”

— Treva Silverman, Rhoda Morgenstern, Valerie Harper, imdb.com

“Lou: I haven't been this mad at anybody since…1944. Yeah…1944. That was the last time I let it all out. Mary: Did anything—much—happen? Lou: Huh? Oh. I captured a town in Germany.”

— Treva Silverman, Lou Grant, Ed Asner, imdb.com

“Mary: He had his arm around her and everything was very cozy. Then he saw us, he pushed her away and started treating her like a stranger. Rhoda: I know that feeling. I once had a date do that to me when I ordered steak.”

— Lorenzo Music, David Davis, Rhoda Morgenstern, Valerie Harper, imdb.com

“Mary: Mr. Grant, you're gonna be just fine, just fine. Go in there and be natural. And remember to smile. Lou: You can't have both things, Mary.”

— Martin Cohan, Mary Richards, Mary Tyler Moore, imdb.com

“Mary: Why are you smiling at me? Lou: Because you just reaffirmed my faith in human nature. Mary: You mean what I did wasn't rotten? Lou: Oh, no, that was rotten all right. It's just nice to know that everyone's rotten. Up to now, I thought you were one of the few holdouts.”

— Susan Silver, Lou Grant, Ed Asner, imdb.com

“Rhoda: How come you're not watching that documentary on TV? It's on how much fun us single swingers are having. Mary: How come you're not watching it? Rhoda: I didn't want to watch it alone. It's too depressing.”

— Lorenzo Music, David Davis, Rhoda Morgenstern, Valerie Harper, imdb.com

“Ted: I went to my reunion a couple of months ago. Famous Announcers School. Murray: That's a correspondence course. Where did they have the reunion, in a mailbox?”

— Allan Burns, Murray Slaughter, Gavin MacLeod, imdb.com

“Ted Baxter: [Ted's brother, Hal needs a dinner date] Say, Mare, why don't you fix Hal up with that Israeli friend of yours? Mary Richards: You mean Rhoda? Ted Baxter: Yeah. Mary Richards: Ted, she's not Israeli; she's from New York. Ted Baxter: Well, I knew it was somewhere there in the Middle East.”

— Treva Silverman, Ted Baxter, Ted Knight, imdb.com

“Mary, I came to Minneapolis because of the cold. I figured if I was frozen I'd keep better.”

— Allan Burns, Rhoda Morgenstern, Valerie Harper, imdb.com