Season

Season 2

by Ellie Kemper, Tituss Burgess, Jane Krakowski, Carol Kane

Tired of being Jacqueline's assistant, Kimmy moonlights as a Christmas elf and an Uber driver. Titus finds love, and Lillian fights gentrification.

(13 total)

Characters

Tituss Burgess (5)Titus Andromedon (5)Danny Rubin (4)Azie Mira Dungey (3)Kimmy Schmidt (3)Ellie Kemper (3)Meredith Scardino (3)Tina Fey (3)Sam Means (2)Carol Kane (1)

“Some of my best statues are of Indians.”

— Tina Fey, Sam Means, Duke, Josh Charles, imdb.com

Tagged: Statues, Indians

“Someone just put the 'neato' in incognito!”

— Danny Rubin, Azie Mira Dungey, Kimmy Schmidt, Ellie Kemper, imdb.com

Tagged: Neato, Incognito

“I'm sorry, I've been burned before and I was recently engaged to what turned out to be a hologram controlled by a Turkish hacker. I just need to take it slow.”

— Danny Rubin, Azie Mira Dungey, Russ Snyder, David Cross, imdb.com

Tagged: Turkish Hacker, Hologram, Burned, Fear Of Commitment

“I was breaking into the Fed naked with 'OPEC' written on me in pig's blood before you were even a twinkle in the eye of the dog that mounted your mom.”

— Robert Carlock, Emily Altman, Lillian Kaushtupper, Carol Kane, imdb.com

Tagged: OPEC, Radicals, Dog Rape

“Last night after a box of key lime wine and some shame-spiraling, I decided to give all my Barbies perms. Some of them don't have the face for it.”

— Meredith Scardino, Titus Andromedon, Tituss Burgess, imdb.com

Tagged: shame-spiraling, key lime wine, barbies, perms

“I should have been a doctor. I look amazing in white, my handwriting is terrible, and I love telling people to take their pants off and just leaving and then making them sit there for an hour.”

— Danny Rubin, Azie Mira Dungey, Titus Andromedon, Tituss Burgess, imdb.com

Tagged: doctor, wearing white

“Dolphins are rapists. Look it up.”

— Meredith Scardino, Andrea Bayden, Tina Fey, imdb.com

Tagged: Dolphins, Rapists

“Professor Rick: Jason just got a callback for Hamilton so we need you to cover his shift. Titus Andromedon: Why didn't I get an audition for that? They're just prejudiced because I can't rap or walk quickly in a circle.”

— Tina Fey, Sam Means, Titus Andromedon, Tituss Burgess, imdb.com

Tagged: hamilton, Auditions

“Titus Andromedon: Kimbecile, what do I always say? Kimmy Schmidt: Don't touch my dolls, they're strictly look-upons. Titus Andromedon: Not that. Kimmy Schmidt: Only Aladdin can pull off harem pants? Titus Andromedon: Nor that. Kimmy Schmidt: John Cusack got fat but I still would? Titus Andromedon: N…”

— Leila Strachan, Titus Andromedon, Tituss Burgess, imdb.com

Tagged: Man Problems, John Cusack, Digits, Aladdin, Harem Pants

“I once went to an open audition and it was just a bum fight.”

— Danny Rubin, Titus Andromedon, Tituss Burgess, imdb.com

Tagged: Audition, bum fight, unpleasant surprises

“All burps smell bad. They're the farts of the face.”

— Meredith Scardino, Kimmy Schmidt, Ellie Kemper, imdb.com

Tagged: burps, Farts

“Don't worry about me. I'm like a biscotti. People act like I'm this sweet cookie, but I'm really this super hard thing that nobody knows what I am or why I am.”

— Josh Siegal, Dylan Morgan, Kimmy Schmidt, Ellie Kemper, imdb.com

Tagged: biscotti, Cookies, Mystery

“Gretchen Chalker: Look! [She presses a button on her watch] I can make my voice sound like different celebrities! Steve Buscemi: 'I can make my voice sound like different celebrities!'”

— Allison Silverman, Gretchen Chalker, Lauren Adams, imdb.com

Tagged: voice activated, Celebrities, Steve Buscemi