“I think it better to keep a profound silence with regard to the Christian fables, which are canonized by their antiquity and the credulity of absurd and insipid people.”— Frederick the Great, en.wikiquote.org
“The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good as a wall.”— Mitch Hedberg, twitter.com
“The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good as a wall.”— Mitch Hedberg, twitter.com
“What would happen if you put hand lotion on your feet? Would your feet get confused and start clapping?”— Ellen Degeneres, goodhousekeeping.com
“Uh... y-y-yes. Y-You got me. To grant your wish, I will have to fill you with the energy of a thousand partying demons. You will become so overloaded with party energy that you'll demolish everything in your path! [blasts Jake with a beam from his mouth].”— Adam Muto, Rebecca Sugar, imdb.com
“Drop ball is an extremely addictive high-intensity game designed for people everywhere.”— Cole Sanchez, Benton Connor, Ghost Man, Steve Little, imdb.com
“Ladies and gentlemen—and Princess...I'm here to talk about multidimensional bubbles! But I am not just going to talk about blowing bubbles—I’m going to blow...your...minds.”— Cole Sanchez, Benton Connor, Finn the Human, Jeremy Shada, imdb.com
“Hey, Princess Bubblegum, when we bring the dead back to life, will they be filled with worms?”— Luther McLaurin, Armen Mirzaian, Finn the Human, Jeremy Shada, imdb.com
“Control is about as real as a one-legged unicorn taking a leak at the end of a double rainbow.”— Sam Esmail, Ray, Craig Robinson, imdb.com
“If I find myself falling in love with you, I'll yell 'banana slug,' and you can head for the hills.”— Ben York Jones, Michael Mohan, Luke O’Neil, Jahi Di'Allo Winston, imdb.com
“Wow, running with a coffee table's hard. No wonder no one does that.”— Lizzie Molyneux, Wendy Molyneux, Teddy, Larry Murphy, imdb.com
“‘Danger’ is my middle name. But I spell it R-U-T-H.”— Kit Boss, Tina Belcher (voice), Dan Mintz, imdb.com
“Bob: [addressing a large pot] Duval, is that you in there? Duval: [from the pot] No one's in this pot. Go away. I am the spaghetti.”— Kit Boss, Bob Belcher, H. Jon Benjamin, imdb.com
“It's all a little absurd, I guess. Truth is I know I'm going to hell. Prayer just makes my time here a little less miserable. A few good acts of contrition can make you feel good too, love.”— Pat Charles, Cameron Hayes, Jamie McShane, imdb.com