Quotes tagged ‘bathroom’

“At least I don’t do crystal meth in the bathroom all night long, bitch.”

— Brandi Glanville, imdb.com

“When it comes to storing all your beauty products, size *does* matter.”

— BRAELYN WOOD, LAURA HANRAHAN, Cosmopolitan, cosmopolitan.com

“Stanley: Where’s a person go to the bathroom around here? Magnet: Pick a hole, any hole.”

— Louis Sachar, José "Magnet", Miguel Castro, imdb.com

“Maybe I can meet you at the baggage carousel bathroom, and kiss you on the lips, your, uh, private lips.”

— Sarah Schneider, Chris Kelly, Jeff, Beck Bennett, imdb.com

“Dying through overexertion on the toilet is the stuff of royal legend.”

— Chris Bourn, melmagazine.com

“Andrew Glouberman: I'm coming, I'm coming. Hormone Monster: Not yet, that's why we gotta get to the bathroom, Sweetheart!”

— Andrew Goldberg, Nick Kroll, Maurice "Maury" Hormone Monster, Nick Kroll, imdb.com

“Igor: You know, I'll never forget my old dad. When these things would happen to him...the things he'd say to me. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What did he say? Igor: 'What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance?'”

— Gene Wilder, Mel Brooks, Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, Gene Wilder, imdb.com

“Sollozzo: [to Michael, in Sicilian] I am sorry. What happened to your father was business. I have much respect for your father. But your father, his thinking is old-fashioned. You must understand why I had to do that. Now let's work through where we go from here. [Michael tries speaking in Sicilian,…”

— Mario Puzo, Francis Ford Coppola, Michael Corleone, Al Pacino, imdb.com

“Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, my wife thinks I'm in the bathroom.”

— Cindy Chupack, Tom Caltabiano, Steve Skrovan, Frank Barone, Peter Boyle, imdb.com

“Homer: Can we stop? I have to go to the bathroom. Kidnapper: You just went five minutes ago! Homer: I have a bladder the size of a brazil nut! Kidnapper: We just call them nuts here”

— Bob Bendetson, Homer Simpson, Dan Castellaneta, imdb.com

“Larry: Next time you use the bathroom, make sure to keep the seat down. Nat: What are you pussy-whipped? Larry: It's not really about her, It's about me, I pee sitting down.”

— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.com

“Monica Waters: You're not eating. Adrian Monk: I ate in the bathroom. I had some mints.”

— David M. Stern, Adrian Monk , Tony Shalhoub, imdb.com

“You're not a child any more. Now come with me: I'm taking you to the bathroom!”

— Steven Levitan, Frasier Crane, Kelsey Grammer, imdb.com

“I totally hear you, but, erm, I also don’t like what you’re saying. So if you say no, I will start a fire in the bathroom.”

— Joe Mande, Mona-Lisa, Jenny Slate, imdb.com

“[someone is groaning in the restroom stall] Good lord! Are you having a bowel movement or a baby?”

— Lawrence Kaplow, Thomas L. Moran, Dr. Gregory House, Hugh Laurie, imdb.com

“A cake gets messed up. A Quiznos bathroom gets messed up. You destroyed a galaxy, mother.”

— Parker Deay, Jordan Blum, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

“Stan: That bathroom is amazing. A gold toilet? And I can't believe you have a servant just to wipe your butt. Rusty: Um, I don't... Stan: Oh, explains the attitude and why he did such a a slapdash job.”

— Murray Miller, Judah Miller, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

“Neal's bathroom reminds me a lot of a skin tag. It's not hurting anything, but it doesn't look great.”

— Jonathan Van Ness, imdb.com

“What does the president of the United States think about when he goes to the bathroom?”

— Mike Judge, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.com

“I Care, by Al Bundy. When hooters jiggle around and I find nickels on the ground, I care. When a Mustang engine purrs and the bathroom is not hers, I care. When the pitcher's on the mound and the wife is underground, I care. But when I've been playing this for days, I will kill anyone who stays. I s…”

— Kevin Curran, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com