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Quotes tagged ‘joke’

(331 total)

Sabrina: You know that love between two people is stronger than any legal document. Gail: Yes. But as a lawyer, I’m not supposed to admit it...

— Nell Scovell, Sheldon Bull, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com

Gordon: What can you tell me about Salem’s temperament? Sabrina: Well he’s very friendly, very focused and... just a little power mad. Gordon: Sounds like he’s all cat.

— Frank Conniff, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com

I just don’t get why they’re making us read 1984 when Orwell got so much wrong...

— Frank Conniff, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com

Sabrina: Salem, what are you doing? Salem: Nothing! Sabrina: You’re in a chatroom again pretending to be a woman, aren’t you? Salem: I like the attention

— Renee Phillips, Carrie Honigblum, Salem Saberhagen (voice), Nick Bakay, imdb.com

Sabrina: Are you kidding? I’d love to meet the Violent Femmes! When? Where? Harvey: Well, they’ll be signing CD’s at Music City in Boston tonight at midnight. Sabrina: Midnight! That’s perfect. I have no conflicting plans. But I still have to ask my aunts. Harvey: Just tell them what I told my paren…

— Nell Scovell, Harvey Kinkle, Nate Richert, imdb.com

Sabrina: Great! Great, great, great! Hilda: That’s the spirit! Sabrina: I was being sarcastic! Hilda: So was I...

— Nell Scovell, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com

Salem: Whoa! Who's your new friend? Zelda: It’s her first wart as a witch! Hilda: Oh, let me get the camera!

— Nell Scovell, Hilda Spellman, Caroline Rhea, imdb.com

Zelda: Now, we'll empty our minds. Hilda: That, I can do.

— Nell Scovell, Hilda Spellman, Caroline Rhea, imdb.com

Sabrina: ...So then, Jenny’s dad landed on Park Place, and to pay the rent he had to borrow money from her little brother. It was super-funny. Harvey: My family can’t play board games, not since the Pictionary incident. I still can’t talk about it...

— Jon Sherman, Harvey Kinkle, Nate Richert, imdb.com

Jenny: This is such a great place! I mean, how many people have their own turret? Sabrina: I don’t know, me and Rapunzel?

— Jon Sherman, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com

Sabrina: Okay, we have five witches and a newt, we should be able to do something. Hilda: I’ve got it: We all hide inside a giant wooden horse! Zelda: Hmm, that worked so well the last time.

— Frank Conniff, Hilda Spellman, Caroline Rhea, imdb.com

Sabrina: Libby caught me coming out of Science Club. Zelda: You went to Science Club? Oh, that’s wonderful! Sabrina: No, it’s not! Now Libby thinks I’m a complete geek! Hilda: I knew this would happen; it’s Zelda’s influence. I begged you to watch TV with me so you’d be normal.

— Rachel Lipman, Hilda Spellman, Caroline Rhea, imdb.com

Zelda: Thank goodness she left. Now we can talk about the first millisecond after the Big Bang. See I think- Ethan: (interrupting her) LOVE ME! Zelda: What?! Ethan: I’m sorry. It’s just that we finally get rid of your weird sister, and all you can talk about is the Big Bang?! I came here tonight hop…

— Nell Scovell, Norma Safford Vela, Zelda Spellman, Beth Broderick, imdb.com

How can you choose the Pleasure Dome over High School?! Wait, that didn't come out right...

— Nick Bakay, Hilda Spellman, Caroline Rhea, imdb.com

Libby: Come on Harvey, let’s hit the floor. Harvey: Actually, Libby, I don’t dance. Libby: Excuse me? This is a dance, guess what we do here? Harvey: Well you see for me, dance is sort of a metaphor. Libby: For what? Harvey: I don’t know, something else?

— Rachel Lipman, Harvey Kinkle, Nate Richert, imdb.com

M’Lady: Salem, you’re the only one who understands me. Salem: Yeah, but it doesn’t mean I care.

— Nell Scovell, Salem Saberhagen (voice), Nick Bakay, imdb.com

Sabrina: I’ve found all kinds of great stuff! It’s, uh, not brand name, but I’m sure it tastes fine. Harvey: ‘Schnickers’? ‘N&N’s’? ‘Butterthumb’? Where do these people shop? Sabrina: I don’t know, but if you're thirsty, there’s ‘Popsi’. Harvey: Do they have ‘Yoo-hoo’? Sabrina: No, but they have ‘He…

— Renee Phillips, Carrie Honigblum, imdb.com

Sabrina: Hey, it worked! I pulled a rabbit out of a hat! Rabbit: Hey, put me back, my wife Renée is about to give birth! Sabrina: Oh, sorry! Hilda: Relax, that happens a lot with rabbits.

— Norma Safford Vela, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com

Hilda: Now! Now! Be careful pointing your finger at people, it could be way too dangerous! Sabrina: You're pointing at me, so isn't that dangerous? Hilda: I have the safety on, of course.

— Barney Cohen, Kathryn Wallack, Hilda Spellman, Caroline Rhea, imdb.com

Joelle: Is it just me, or is Drake’s entire career a response to that episode of Degrassi when he was in a wheelchair and couldn’t get it up? Samantha: Yeah, we get it, Drake. You fucks.

— Justin Simien, Joelle Brooks, Ashley Blaine Featherson, imdb.com

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