Quotes tagged ‘joke’

“Morgan: Yeah, you don't find many full-faceted diamonds with a VVS of two. Hilda: Sounds like you know your jewelry. Morgan: Let's put it this way. Not only did I have breakfast at Tiffany's, I stayed for lunch and dinner.”

— Suzanne Gangursky, Hilda Spellman, Caroline Rhea, imdb.com

“Sabrina: Salem, any thoughts on what I should go as for Halloween? Salem: Hmm. Off the top of my head, fashion victim? Sabrina: The only thing lamer than that joke are my plans for Halloween.”

— Dan Berendsen, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com

“Roxie: Do you hear yourself when you speak? Morgan: Depends on what I say.”

— Adam England, Morgan Cavanaugh, Elisa Donovan, imdb.com

“Roxie: Sabrina, it's okay. We know how awkward it is to go to a party where you don't know anybody. Morgan: That's what we're here for. And don't worry, I won't wear my best stuff, so you'll still look pretty. Sabrina: Sometimes I swear they are two of the most dense people I know. Harvey: I wonder…”

— Adam Hamburger, David Hamburger, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com

“Wait a minute. How are you gonna quit magic? Go to Witch Watchers?”

— Adam Hamburger, David Hamburger, Harvey Kinkle, Nate Richert, imdb.com

“So, you're in the nuclear biz? I once dated a guy named Adam, but then we split!”

— Andrew Borakove, Bill Rosenthal, Morgan Cavanaugh, Elisa Donovan, imdb.com

“Sabrina: Okay, you go and distract Roxie. Morgan: Okay. How? Sabrina: Haven't you ever distracted anyone before? Morgan: Well, yeah, but I don't think Roxie's gonna fall for the 'Oops, my strap broke!' trick. Sabrina: It's worth a shot.”

— Dan Kael, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com

“I hate doctors! They poke you, and ask if that hurts. Of course it hurts, you just poked me!”

— Laurie Gelman, Hilda Spellman, Caroline Rhea, imdb.com

“Zelda: Mother's maiden name? Sabrina: Becker. Hilda: Favorite dessert that doesn't involve chocolate? Sabrina: There isn't one. How long is this going to go on? Zelda: Until we make absolutely sure you're the real Sabrina. Hilda: Say "Woo hoo". Sabrina: Woo hoo. Salem: Imposter! J'accuse! Sabrina: B…”

— Ruth Bennett, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com

“A French dinosaur. I only wish this was the strangest thing I've ever encountered.”

— Charlie Tercek, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com

“Mounty: Before I let you go, I have to ask you a few questions about the Mortal Realm to prove you live there — standard procedure. Zelda: Fire away! I DO have three P.h.D's! Mounty: What are the names of the Hanson brothers? Zelda: Who? Hilda: Isaac, Zachary and Taylor. Mounty: What actor from Marc…”

— Sheldon Bull, Hilda Spellman, Caroline Rhea, imdb.com

“Mounty: Freeze! Hilda: As if we can do anything ELSE in this weather...”

— Sheldon Bull, Hilda Spellman, Caroline Rhea, imdb.com

“Salem: I’m so happy, I could plotz! Sabrina: Not on the kitchen table. Salem: You can say goodbye to this furry little punim! Hilda: Salem, what’s with all the Yiddish? Are you going into show business? Salem: I’m online with a camel in Jerusalem who used to be an Amway salesman. Zelda: Why did the…”

— Carrie Honigblum, Renee Phillips, Salem Saberhagen (voice), Nick Bakay, imdb.com

“Dr. Brickman: Hello, I’m Dr. Brickman. Sabrina: Let me guess, he has cold hands? Zelda: Don’t worry, he performed his first operation at two. Dr. Brickman: I even supervised my own birth — I’m a complete professional.”

— Frank Conniff, Zelda Spellman, Beth Broderick, imdb.com

“Libby: Well, I’ll be using me as shorthand for us. I’ve already got the floral design in my head. Sabrina: Oh, well I’m glad your butt is working. Oh, I’ll be using butt as shorthand for your head.”

— Frank Conniff, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com

“Hippie Driver: Did that cat just talk? Or am I picking up his thoughts telepathically? Salem: You're right. You can read my mind. And now you're sensing my great need to stop in Philadelphia for a cheese-steak. Hippie Driver: I’m communicating with animals! This is so radical. Salem: Just drive, Woo…”

— Sheldon Bull, Salem Saberhagen (voice), Nick Bakay, imdb.com

“Valerie: I was just invited to a party. Sabrina: At seven o’clock? Valerie: Well, I wasn’t exactly invited, but people saw me hear about it and didn’t warn me to keep away. D’ya wanna come?”

— Carrie Honigblum, Renee Phillips, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com

“I remember the first time a boy gave me a star... Next thing I knew, three wise men were at the door.”

— Holly Hester, Hilda Spellman, Caroline Rhea, imdb.com

“Sgt. Slater: Spellman, Spellman... Why is that name so familiar? Hilda Spellman... Hilda Thorn-In-My-Side Spellman! Don't tell me you're related to Hilda Spellman? Sabrina: ...Okay!”

— Carrie Honigblum, Renee Phillips, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com

“Sabrina: So, what did you wanna tell me that couldn’t wait till twelve thirty-seven? Harvey: Something I should have said a long time ago: I think we should go steady. Sabrina: Steady? I’d like that. I’d like that a lot. Harvey: And I want to give you something so we’ll never forget this moment. Sab…”

— Nick Bakay, Harvey Kinkle, Nate Richert, imdb.com