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(108,898 total)

You did the dicks because he deserved it for ruining your life.

— Lauren Herstik, Peter Maldonado, Tyler Alvarez, Climax

She tells me shit she doesn't tell anyone else. Dude, she tells me when she's on her period.

— Lauren Herstik, Dylan Maxwell, Jimmy Tatro, Climax

I just always thought my first suit would be for, like high-school graduation, or, like, something sick, like the Winter X Games, or like the regular X Games. Or, like my funeral. Not for lame-ass court.

— Jess Meyer, Dylan Maxwell, Jimmy Tatro, Gag Order

Suit Graduation X Games funeral Court

I've been watching a lot of Judge Judy lately, just, like, kind of preparing and whatnot.

— Jess Meyer, Dylan Maxwell, Jimmy Tatro, Gag Order

Judge Judy preparation Court Case Court

Weed's good for everything.

— Jess Meyer, Brianna Gagne, Jessica Juarez, Gag Order

Weed Good solution

I think that's why we were suspended, for flying too close to the sun. It tells me we were getting somewhere.

— Jess Meyer, Peter Maldonado, Tyler Alvarez, Gag Order

Suspended Icarus Metaphor Examples

The thing people don't realize about being a history teacher is, dude, it is so boring.

— Jess Meyer, Mr. Kraz, Ryan O'Flanagan, Gag Order

History Teacher Teaching Boring

No, dude, I don't think someone would start drawing a dick at the mushroom head. That just doesn't feel right.

— Jess Meyer, Sam Ecklund, Griffin Gluck, Gag Order

drawing Making Sense

Lit as fuck, man. There was titties, beer, a lot of candy.

— Seth Cohen, Amy Pocha, Spencer Diaz, Eduardo Franco, Premature Theories

lit party Beer candy

Pro-tip dude. Never post an ugly video of a chick on Instagram, no matter how fucking dumb she looks. Not worth it, dude. She won't think it's funny.

— Matthew McManus, Kevin McManus, Dylan Maxwell, Jimmy Tatro, Growing Suspicion

Instagram Funny Ugly Video Pro-tip

I don't remember anything. Honestly, I got so fucked up. That was a night I'll never forget.

— Matthew McManus, Kevin McManus, Dylan Maxwell, Jimmy Tatro, Growing Suspicion

Drunk Night You'll Never Forget Memories

Mac and I are kinda like orange juice and vodka, you know? We just go together.

— Matthew McManus, Kevin McManus, Dylan Maxwell, Jimmy Tatro, Growing Suspicion

Similie Examples Orange Juice vodka Go together

You could even say he has a passion for dicks.

— Kevin McManus, Matthew McManus, Sam Ecklund, Griffin Gluck, Growing Suspicion

Passion Interest

A growing number of Americans describe climate change as a crisis, and two-thirds say President Trump is doing too little to tackle the problem.

— Scott Clement, Steven Mufson, Brady Dennis, Washington Post, Americans increasingly see climate change as a crisis, poll shows

Climate Change Problem environment Climate

When you’re not doing well, it almost feels instinctive to open up about these things — you’re often wearing them on your sleeve for all to see, anyway. But when things are going great on paper, it’s like seeing an elaborate display of crackers in a grocery store and pulling a box out from the botto…

— Rosemary Donahue, It's Harder to Talk About My Suicidal Ideation When Things Are Going Well

Suicide Suicidal Ideation

I just smoked a victory blunt for no reason, and now I'm, like, upsettingly high.

— Mike Rosolio, Dylan Maxwell, Jimmy Tatro, Nailed

victory blunt Celebration high

At this moment I’m practicing the skill set of not trying to get you to like me. Like, whether or not you like me, I like me.

— Caroline Calloway, Influencer Caroline Calloway speaks about grief, friendship and stepping into her own power

Grief Caroline Calloway self

A movement is only as strong as its integrity.

— Deray Mckesson, On Shaun King

Shaun King Black Lives Matter

She's like that guy from Game of Thrones. Like, who's that, like the bald guy that has no dick. She's just, like, you know, she's playing the game. Playing everybody.

— Mike Rosolio, Mr. Kraz, Ryan O'Flanagan, Nailed

Game of Thrones Playing Games Simile Examples

It's not really cool to worry about popularity.

— Mike Rosolio, Alex Trimboli, Calum Worthy, Nailed

cool Popular Popularity

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