Latest Quotes

“Then, trying again again, he tweeted out some more old maps.”

— Brandon Miller, Daniel Dale, CNN, Anatomy of a fiasco

“As pretty much anyone who has trekked to either park can attest, the key to a successful trip that the whole family will enjoy involves planning... lots and lots of planning.”

— Kate Auletta, 16 Parents On The Hacks That Help Them Survive Disney Parks

“Nobody’s life is perfect. No matter what it looks like from the outside, you don’t know what the fuck’s going on inside.”

— Dave Chappelle, Dave Chappelle

“Oh, come on, give me a break. This is exactly what the fossil fuel industry wants us to talk about. ... They want to be able to stir up a lot of controversy around your lightbulbs, around your straws, and around your cheeseburgers, when 70 percent of the pollution, of the carbon that we’re throwing…”

— Elizabeth Warren, Elizabeth Warren blasts the plastic straw debate as a fossil fuel industry distraction tactic

“People are always asking me how to better the state of women’s sports, and I’m like, ‘Fucking go to the games.’”

— Megan Rapinoe, What's Next for Meg Rapinoe and Sue Bird

“The new feature will appear as a new tab on their mobile app, allowing people 18 years or older to use the free service if they want to.”

— Alicia Barron, BuzzFeed, Here Are 15 Hilarious Reactions To Facebook's New Dating App That Just Launched

“A woman in the Bahamas says she has taken in nearly 100 dogs displaced by Hurricane Dorian.”

— Caitlin O'Kane, CBS News, Hurricane hero

“It’s key for your boss to understand that you don’t object to taking on new responsibilities in general, but changed jobs specifically to avoid this one.”

— Allison Green, The Cut, ‘My Boss Wants to Change My Job, and I’m Not Happy About It!’

“Following Dickens’ firing, ComingSoon writer Christian Long was fired by Severino as well, also for apparently not reaching out to Severino via his preferred platform.”

— Paul Blest, 'Content Farm' Fires Workers After They Ask Where Their Paychecks Are

“I feel the same way as I do when people tell me they like cats, you know? I can't look at them from the outside and try and find sense or purpose.”

— Thomas Ward, Liz Doran, Hannah Gadsby, Josh Thomas, Josh, Josh Thomas, Souvlaki

“It's weird to hurt someone as a favor.”

— Thomas Ward, Liz Doran, Hannah Gadsby, Josh Thomas, Josh, Josh Thomas, Burrito Bowl

“You learn to focus on the people that like you instead of the people that don't like you.”

— Liz Doran, Thomas Ward, Hannah Gadsby, Josh Thomas, Becky Lucas, Josh, Josh Thomas, Degustation

“Do you ever sit there, leg dangling from the chair arm, arm supporting your head, and wonder if chairs could better accommodate those who don’t want to, well, sit straight?”

— Josh Milton, You can now buy the ‘bi chair’ for people who can’t sit straight

“Grow up and pull your bloody head in.”

— Thomas Ward, Liz Doran, Hannah Gadsby, Josh Thomas, Alan, David Roberts, Beluga Caviar

“Ella: Think maybe you're going to get naked with Arnold? Josh: I really don’t want to, but I’m also a very shit guy, and if he’s standing there looking cute and he’s forward enough, then of course I will. Of course, of course.”

— Thomas Ward, Liz Doran, Hannah Gadsby, Josh, Josh Thomas, Beluga Caviar

“Just what I think, I think the key is, right, is just stop being afraid of death altogether. Like don’t you think it’s a little bit arrogant to be scared of dying? Like, in the grand scheme of things, like the billions of people and the millions of years, and the stardust and the mammoths, and Taylo…”

— Thomas Ward, Liz Doran, Hannah Gadsby, Josh Thomas, Josh, Josh Thomas, Beluga Caviar

“I’m feeling optimistic and enthusiastic about my dating future.”

— Thomas Ward, Liz Doran, Hannah Gadsby, Josh Thomas, Josh, Josh Thomas, Beluga Caviar

“You’re always trying to start a fight. A pathological quest for stimulus.”

— Thomas Ward, Liz Doran, Hannah Gadsby, Josh Thomas, Arnold, Keegan Joyce, Porridge

“Uh, well, I waited for him to finish smoking his meth, and then we had sex, which, which, I would’ve thought that I wouldn’t have had sex with someone after they smoked meth, but no, there I was, doing it. Turns out I am surprisingly easy-going.”

— Liz Doran, Thomas Ward, Hannah Gadsby, Josh Thomas, Josh, Josh Thomas, Beluga Caviar

“I’m stuck being white. White people are the worst.”

— Thomas Ward, Liz Doran, Hannah Gadsby, Josh Thomas, Josh, Josh Thomas, Beluga Caviar