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Alec Berg

54 quotesFilm Director · United States Of America · Male

Alec Berg is an American comedy writer, best known as a writer for the sitcom Seinfeld. He also co-wrote the screenplays for the films The Cat in the Hat, EuroTrip and The Dictator. In addition, Berg is an executive producer of and has directed numerous episodes of Larry David's Curb Your Enthusiasm, and also executive produces Silicon Valley and Barry. In the Seinfeld episode "The Face Painter", Berg's name is given to an attorney friend of Jerry's who gives Jerry some New York Rangers playoff tickets. When Jerry fails to thank Berg's character for the tickets, Berg does not offer Jerry tickets for another game that week. In that episode, Jerry jokes that Berg has a great "John Houseman name", pronouncing it jokingly in Houseman's accent. Berg is of Swedish descent. In the Season 8 of Curb Your Enthusiasm episode "The Divorce," Larry David fires his divorce attorney Andrew Berg (played by Paul F. Tompkins) after he finds out that Berg is not Jewish – as he had presumed from the name – but, like Alec Berg, is a Catholic of Swedish heritag

All Wealth (2)Regifting (2)Threats (2)Christmas (2)Freedom (2)Change (2)Kill (2)Good (2)Gluttony (2)Insanity (2)Philanthropy (2)People (2)Festivus (2)Sex (2)Insomnia (1)

From “The Chicken Roaster”

George: She’s got a little Marisa Tomei thing goin’ on. Jerry: Ah, too bad you’ve got a little George Costanza thing goin’ on.

Marisa Tomei Unmatched Partners

I can't eat, I can't sleep, all I can see is that giant red sun in the shape of a chicken.

Insomnia Neon chicken

So, did you have any trouble finding the place?

Burma Insanity Apocalypse Now

Of course there's the possibility that you've gone right out of your mind.

Insanity

From “The Summer of George”

What's the deal with airplane peanuts?

Airplane Peanuts Jokes Standup Comics

Because men think if women are grabbing and clawing at each other there's a chance they might somehow kiss.

Catfights erotica Lesbianism

Because they're terrified of her. I heard from someone that when they cut one of her lines, she climbed up the rope on side of the stage and started dropping lights on people’s heads. Story like that has got to be true.

Raquel Welch Prima Donnas Divas Temper Violence Against Planned Parenthood

Frolf: Frisbee golf, Jerry. Golf with a Frisbee. This is gonna be my time. Time to taste the fruits and let the juices drip down my chin. I proclaim this: The Summer of George!

Frolf Frisbee Golf Frisbee Golf Summer

From “The Butter Shave”

What's the deal with lampshades? I mean if it's a lamp, why do you want shade?

Bad Jokes Lampshade

I can't take this anymore! I don't want to hear how interesting the change with the hole in it is! And if you tell me what time it is in New York again, you are going home in a body bag!

Foreign Currency travel Annoyance Threats

Jerry, let's face it, I've always been handicapped. I'm just now getting the recognition for it. Name one thing I have that puts me in a position of advantage. Huh? There was a guy that worked at the Yankees—no arms! He got more work done than I did, made more money, had a wife, a family, drove a…

Handicapped Success New York Yankees

From “The Voice”

Elaine, breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push; you got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.

Breakups Coke Machines

From “The Strike”

There is no bigger loser than me!

Biggest Loser Self-deprecation

Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon, I realized there had to be another way. Kramer: What happened to the doll? Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was…

Christmas Christmas Shopping Festivus

I think I could be a philanthropist. a kick-ass philanthropist! I would have all this money and people would love me. Then they would come to me and beg! And if I felt like it, I would help them out. And then they would owe me big time!

Philanthropy charity Beggars Wealth Power

Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reach for the last one they had—but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way!

Christmas Festivus Materialism Violence

I have spent a lot of time, and I have eaten a lot of crap to get to where I am today. And I am NOT throwing it all away now.

eating Incentives Sub Sandwiches

From “The Maid”

Hey, I'm on first and first. How can the same street intersect with itself? I must be at the nexus of the universe.

Universe lost Directions

Look, I work for the phone company. I've had a lot of experience with semantics, so don't try to lure me into some maze of circular logic.

Circular Logic Phone Companies Semantics

From “The Puerto Rican Day”

We don’t know how long this will last. They are a very festive people.

Puerto Ricans Festive

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