Quote
Catalog

Anonymous

449 quotes

All Relationships (63)Love (59)Dating (46)Sex Stories (45)Loneliness (43)Pain (41)Heartbreak (40)Miss you (38)separation (38)Longing (38)Sexual Assault (35)PG Funny (32)Value Proportion Funny (30)Stanford Victim (29)Lawyer Jokes (29)

From “World's best (and worst) lawyer jokes”

Q: What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra? A: Taller.

Lawyer Jokes Viagra

Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer can make it last even longer.

Lawyer Jokes

From “World's best”

Q: How many lawyer jokes are in existence? A: Only three. All the rest are true stories.

Lawyer Jokes

From “20 Lawyer Jokes You Should Never Tell”

Q: What’s black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A: A doberman pinscher.

Lawyer Jokes doberman Pinscher

Q: Why does the bar association code of ethics prevent sex between lawyers and their clients? A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.

Lawyer Jokes Double Entendres

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a jellyfish? A: One is a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

Lawyer Jokes Jellyfish spineless

Q: What’s the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer riding a motorcycle? A: The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.

Lawyer Jokes

From “Lawyer Joke Collection”

Q: Where can you find a good lawyer? A: In the cemetery.

Lawyer Jokes cemetery

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure? A: The bucket.

Lawyer Jokes Manure

Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers? A: Professional courtesy.

Lawyer Jokes Sharks Professional Courtesy

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar? A: The pronunciation.

Lawyer Jokes Liar Homonyms Pronunciation

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and God? A: God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

Lawyer Jokes God

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? A: After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.

Lawyer Jokes Leech

Q: Why did God invent lawyers? A: So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.

Lawyer Jokes God Real estate Agents

Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull? A: Lipstick.

Lawyer Jokes Pit Bull lipstick

From “Lawyer Jokes”

Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? A: About three pounds, including the urn.

Lawyer Jokes

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? A: The lawyer charges more.

Lawyer Jokes

Q: What do you say to a lawyer with an IQ of 50? A: Good morning, Your Honor.

Lawyer Jokes

Q: What do a lawyer and sperm have in common? A: They both have a one in a million chance of being human.

Lawyer Jokes Sperm

Q: Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? A: From chasing parked ambulances.

Lawyer Jokes Ambulance Chasers

WKM &WK W W M W WWW WKW W W W W W K&W WM &WK W W&W W WKW W WKW W W WKW WMW W W WWW W W WW WWW WW& MW &W W W W &W WW W W W W W W W WW W W W M W&MWMWKW W W W WK W W WKW W W W W WW &K WKW W W WKW W W WW MW MMW MWW W W W W W MW WW W W W W W W W WWW& W W W WK&&W WMW W W W WK WK WWM W W W K KWW KW W&& W & K W W W W WW W&W W W&W WM W&KMW MWW W&W WMKW&W WM W&W W W W WKW W&W WW W WKM WMW&W W WW W&W WKW W W WW&WW W& W W&W W&W KW W&W WMW W W W WWKW&W W WKW WWK W WWWKW W W W W W WW W&W W W W W W W W &WWW W M W W W W KW WW W W W W WW WWM&W WWWW W W W W W W W W&W K& KK K K K K KK & K K WWW W & & K K & W K M MWW MM K W W WM& WW WW WM MW W W W W WM WW &MW M W WW W W W WMM W&W KW WM WW &WWMW MWW W&W W W&W W WW WWW MMW W W W W&W W W WWW WMM WMWW W W W WW&W W W & WKWK& W & W&W MW WMW W W W MKW& W W WWKW WW WMWKW WWK W W W W WW &K W W W W W W W WW WW W K&W W W W W W W W W WM W W WW WKWWWW W&W WW W W&M M W W&K MM W W&M M MM MW W WW W MM WMM M M WW WW W&W W W&M WW WWW MM W KMW M M W M WW W WWKK & W W WMW WK K K K WW W& WW M W M WW M M& & K MM W WKWW WW W W W W W W WWW WW WW WW M W MMW KWM WMW WKW M M W& MM W WW WW WW WW MW W W W WWWWWWKM W W W W WWWW W W W W W WW W W MK MW W MW W WWKWKK W WKM W WK W W W W WW& W W WW W W WWWKWW WW WW&MWW WWW W &WW W W W W W&W && W &MW W W & KW WW WWW WWW WWW KWW W WWK W WMW W & WMW W W W M W WM MMW WWK WMK& WM W WW W W M & MW& KK W&WW K K W KW WK & WW & M & &WM K & W W & & WWW WMM WWW K K WW W W &K & W & M K& WWM WW WWM&W W WW&W M WWMWWK WKW W W W W W W&W W &W W&W W K W W W W W& WKW WW W W WM W&W KWW MKW W W W W W WM W WW WW MW W W&W W KWK WWW W WW WMW&& WWWWMWW W WM W W&M W&W W W W W&W W && W&W WMW WMW W WMW& W W W WKW KW WKW WWW WMW WWW W W W WM W WMWWKW W WWW W&W WWW WWWWWWW WWWW &WWW M M W W W W &WW WWW WWW W WWW&WWWWW WWMW W W W W &WK WKW W&W W WWM&WW W &KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KK&&MM&M&KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK&&&&&&&&&K

} } } } * * * * * * * * * * * * } * * * * } } } * } } * * } } * * } * * } } * * } } } } } } } * * * ** }} * * } * } } * * * * * } * * * * * * * * * } ** } } } * } } } * * * } } * * * * * } * * * } } } } * } * * } } } * * } * *} * * } * ** } } } * * } * * } * } * } * * } } } } } } } } } } } } } }} } } } * } } } } } } } } } } } * } * } } } } }* } } } } } } * } } } } * } } } *} } } } } } } } * } * *} *** }} }}}}}}}}}}

V U j jo o U j o VV o U U j U V j o j U V V o V j V o Uj V V V U j U o j o V VU V V j V o V o o o UV U U o oU U U oo U U j VU U ojo o j U j o j VV j V j o Vo j U j o U U Uo U j j U o j j j o j j U U V o U V U V V UVV U U jV Uj V V j V V o j o V V V oj o V o U U o V o o U V jU U o o j V V o j V j o o j V U Uo U o j j j V V V V o o j o oV j j j j oj V U U j U o j U j V j V U j U U U oo jV o oV j j j V o V Uj U U VooU V j U V U o V VU j jj jj U U o o j V V Vj oo o j jV o U j j o V jVj o j j j j o j V j oU o V j V oU jU V o j V j V j U V U U U o V o oo Uj Vo j UU j V U j j j j o VU V U V jj V o V U o j U jUjj VU j j V jUV o o o V UV V U U V U j o o V o V U j VU V j V j o o o U j U j V V U V V V o U V o V j V V U U V V j j j j V U U j j j V j U U j j j o U V U j V U V U j jj UV j j j jjjjjjjj jjjjjooooojjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjooooooooojooooooojojo UUUUUUUUUUU U

K M K & K M K & M & K & K K K K K K K K K M & K K WW &W K & M KKMW& K&MMWWK W MWWW W KMKWM K WWWWWK WWW & & KK& W WWWWWWWW& & WWWW K & WWWWWWWWWWW K WWWW &&&& & WWW W WWWWWWWWWWW KMWKWWWWWWKWM K K &M&&K&&K WWWW WWWWWWMMWWW WWMWWWWWWW W K K WWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWW WMWWWWWWWW&M &WK K K& KMWWWW W &WWWWWWWWWWWW &WWWW K WWWMK WWWWW WW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WW WWWM &WW&KMW WWWWW MW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW MWWM&K K KM KWWW WWWWWWWMWWWWWW KMWWWWWK &MWKK W M WM &W&WWMWWWWWWWWWWWMW KWWWWWWWM &KK K K &MM MWMWKKKK&WWW&&KK&&MW KWWWWWWWW MM K

. : , . : .: ,.: , ,.,. :. : , : .: . : : , , , : . ,: ,, : :,, . . ,:... . ., , :.: , , : : , : : , : : : , : , : , . : : , : , , , .: , : ,: :: :. .: .: :, : ,, , . , : . ,: : ., .,, . :,, , . .,::,,,,,,: ::,,.. .. ... : ::::::: :,:,. ::,:,,,,,,: ::,,,., : ::::::, .:,,,,,.. , . , :: ,.,,,,.. : , , .. :.,,,...,, : . , : :,. , .. :,,, . , :,: , : , :,. : . : . . . . . ::,, . :: ,. . ::,:: , . ::: , . : , , , .

} * * < } * * * } } < < * } < } ~ ~ ~ ~ < ~ }} }* *~}}* }} **< }}~ * } *}<<< ** } < * <~ ~ < ~ * < ~ < } } ~ ~~ < <~ * ~ <* * *<} <<< ~ } * } < * <** * < ~~} * * } <~<}~} < *} < < * < }* ~*}< <<~ ~ * < << ~} ~~ ~ }*} * ~<~~~}~< } < <~**~~*< }~~* } < *** *< ~ *} ~} * <* <*<}~<* }~* } *~ }} ~ * << < < }*}<<<<<<~<< ~* } < < ~ <} ~ * * ~ ~~ * ~}} ~ ***< < << ~ <~ <}< } } < }} }** * **~ } }*<*< } }**~} ~ } <* < } < } ~ << < }}}}* ~ ~< *~ * < ~ } < * < ** ~ < ~} ~ } }* ~~ ~* ~ } } < *}~ < } * } ~*}} *< * *< < <~ ~ }~ ~~~ ~ ~ ~< *~< } } < << * * < ~ }< } ~ ~~ } }< *< < ~ } } * }~*} }* < < ~ ~ ~} } * ~ }~ *}~* * ~~~ } * }} * } * }

Vjoj U o V oj j V V j jV Vo U j UUU jj j oUjV Uo jV V oojU o j V Vj U j VUo j U o j o o o V o j o j oj V j o j jj U V o V o j o j V UV U o oU j j j o j o jjj o j V o j U V oo o jj j o j o V ooVVo VoV VV Vjjo jj Uoj j U V o o o o oo j j VUo o o jU ojjjjjjj oU ojjoooooooVVVj j U j UUUUUVVVoo U VUUUUU V V UVVVVVVooo jUU UUUUUVojoj j VVVVVojojo jj Uo oV j jU U UUVV j Voo VV V o V V U VVVV U jjU oU joV o U oU V U oo j oo o o U UUoUVUVUU UVV jjoj o j j V jjo oUVoU o j j V o o U j j ooV U oVo o U o UUo UV o o UoUV V V j VV V UVUj oV U V j o V o VU U oUU o o U o o V UVV oV V U o j j j oVVUojj j