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Bill Callahan

16 quotesSinger · United States Of America · Male

All Kiss-and-tell (1)Tearful (1)Bone City (1)Whole World (1)Ass Crack (1)Owl (1)Good (1)Naive (1)serious (1)Hair Thinning (1)Menstrual Issue (1)Gross (1)doughnuts (1)wise (1)Texting (1)

From “My Common Enemy”

Lady, people aren't chocolates. D'you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with a bastard filling. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine.

Chocolates Optimism Bastards Annoyance Naive

From “My Best Laid Plans”

Molly: You know, they make thongs specifically for low-riders now. Elliot: They don't work for me. I still can't sit down without showing the whole world the crack of my ass. The other night, some guy tried to put a pen in it. J.D.: 'Some guy'... I never get credit for anything!

thongs ass Ass Crack Some Guy Credit

Turk! If you can't remember to put the cap on the toothpaste how are we going to raise our children? You know what? I'm going to stay with my sister!

Overreaction Children Frantic Freak-out

From “My Half-Acre”

J.D.: Morning, Elliot. By the way, Julie's here, but I'm not gonna kiss and tell. Elliot: Oh, really, 'cause I just got your text. That said 'Bone City.'

Sex Kiss-and-tell Bone City Texting Friends

From “My Soul on Fire, Part 2”

Look, Elliot, I don't know if it's possible for me to put how I feel about you into words, but I guess I'll give it a shot. I never really believed I'd find somebody that I love as much as you. I love you more than anything in the whole world. Elliot, I love you more than Turk.

Love Feelings Words Whole World Love You More Than

From “The Devil Is in the Details... And the Upstairs Bedroom”

Mary: Do you think it could be PTSD? Shawn: I think it's far more serious than a mere menstrual issue.

PTSD Menstrual Issue serious

I look up to Brett Favre, but that doesn't mean I believe everything he says. Alright, that's a bad example. It's those tearful press conferences, man. They get me every time.

Brett Favre Tearful Press Conference Gets me every time

From “Shawn Gets the Yips”

I don't lose things. I place things in locations which later elude me.

Lose Eludes Me Losing things

From “Death Is In The Air”

I still smell like stinky nuts!

Smells Stinky Nuts Gross

I'm not big on nude handshakes.

nude Handshakes picky

From “Shawn 2.0”

Gus: He has a Masters in Psychology and Criminology from Harvard AND an MBA! Shawn: Get outta here. He's got a Monkey Basketball League?

Masters Accomplished Harvard MBA Shock

From “Dual Spires”

Gus: That owl is made entirely out of cinnamon! Shawn: Which means it is both wise and delicious.

Owl cinnamon wise Delicious Excited

From “We'd Like to Thank the Academy”

Injury-free since June, when Gus broke his finger flipping the injury countdown calendar.

Ironic Irony examples Finger broken Injury

[wearing a police uniform, selecting doughnuts in a store] I don't know if it's this uniform, but I've never craved doughnuts before in my life.

Police Uniform doughnuts Craving

From “Santabarbaratown”

Well, the plot, unlike your hair, continues to thicken.

Diss Hair Thinning Plot Thickens

From “Deez Nups”

Falling in love with you was never part of the plan, okay? This whole thing started because my ass was on the line. Self-preservation, Jules - you got to understand that. I didn't have a choice. And then we sort of found a groove, and by the time you showed up, it was so much fun. I put away, like,…

Falling In Love part of the plan Groove self preservation Life

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