“Charlie Tweeder: Say I’m stupid and I’m about to get hit in the nuts. Billy Bob: That’s funny. Charlie Tweeder: Ain’t it funny? That’s what I mean. See, they need to change the name of the show to America’s funniest shots in the nuts.”Tagged: ow my balls, kick in the nuts
“Charlie Tweeder: What is up with Carrie Ann Baker? Billy Bob: Darcy’s friend? Charlie Tweeder: Oh, my God! She’s got this look. Like, I just fell out of the I’m-gonna-suck-your-dick tree and hit every branch on the way down!”Tagged: Slut Shaming, suck your dick
“Police Officer: Congratulations. Charlie Tweeder: Congratulations to you, too. Police Officer: Congratulations for what? Charlie Tweeder: For getting to wear such cute ‘mount me’ hats. Police Officer: Mount me? Charlie Tweeder: Not right away. After a few drinks...”Tagged: Congratulations, disrespect
“Well, we’re all naked in there and we’ve got handcuffs and cool shit to play with, so take off your clothes and get in the car.”Tagged: bondage, S&M, handcuffs, cool shit
“Charlie Tweeder: Hey, you wanna see the new Tweeder end zone dance? [Tweeder dances] You know what it’s called? Mox: What? Charlie Tweeder: The New Tweeder End Zone Dance.”Tagged: End Zone, dance, eponymous
“Jonathan Moxon, you are under arrest for not being naked with some sophomore chick who wants to bathe you with her tongue, now take off your goddamn clothes and get in the car.”Tagged: you're under arrest, sophomore, Naked
“[Mooning Mox and Billy Bob through the truck window] Good moonin, boys! Good moonin! I have been up since the crack of dawn and I had to ass you a question.”Tagged: Mooning, ass, crack of dawn
“Charlie Tweeder: Will you listen to me? Bitches are all just panty-droppers. You understand? That’s it. Mox: What? Charlie Tweeder: Listen. You give ‘em a Percocet, two Vicodin and a couple of beers, and the panties drop. It’s very nice. Mox: [laughing] Charlie Tweeder: [emphatically] It’s nice.…”Tagged: Bitches, panty-droppers, date rape drugs, STDs, Prison