“Issa: Why you assuming I like Drake? Daniel: Every black girl that went to college likes Drake. Issa: He just really gets us.”Tagged: Drake, Black Women, Women Of Color, Pop Culture, College
“Issa: I’m starting to resent him. Like I spent my entire 20’s with a guy I’m not even gonna end up with. Molly: I mean, well you’re still 29, you have one more year. Issa: Bitch, you’re right. I don’t have time for the bullshit anymore. Molly: What are you saying? Issa: I’m breaking up with him…”Tagged: Resent, Dating, Relationships, break ups, humor
“Do you want your man or not? Do you know your plans or not? You gon' back home or not? You gon' claim your throne or not? Is you Khaleesi? Or that other bitch whose name I don't remember?”Tagged: Khaleesi, Game of Thrones, Pop Culture, TV, Rap
“Molly: You gotta fuck a lot of frogs to get a good frog. Issa: That’s not the saying. Or any saying.”Tagged: Fuck, Sex, Frogs, Prince Charming, saying
“Molly: How did the kids find it in the first place? Issa: Daniel! He was talking about what a great rapper that I was and the kids must have Googled me. Stupid smart as fuck researching ass kids.”Tagged: Rap, kids, Rapper, Google, The internet
“Molly: Chrissy Teigen has a dope-ass cookbook. Issa: Are you in the kitchen? Please get the fuck out.”Tagged: explicit, swearing, kitchen, Cooking, chrissy teigen
“Issa: Some other day, some shit went down — Kelli: Girl, did he hit you? Issa: What? No. Kelli: Okay, I like Lawrence, but I will go ape on that nigga, okay? Does he have a car? Issa: Kelli. Kelli: I'm gonna fuck that up first. Issa: He did not hit me. Okay? We're — we're just going through this,…”Tagged: Relationships, Abuse, pregnant, hit, explicit
“Tiffany: I taste stone fruit. Molly: And a little bit of pepper. Issa: I taste wine.”Tagged: Fruit, Pepper, Wine, Wine-Tasting, Alcohol
“Issa: Can you teach me how to ho? Molly: Bitch, that's rude... and yes.”Tagged: Friendship, Dating, Ho, Advice, hook ups
“Molly: One day I looked up and my dick meter was all the way on E. Issa: Join the club, bitch. Dick on E, bank account on E. Life on E.”Tagged: Relatable, Life, dick, Sex, bank account
“Issa: Trying to fuck is hard. Molly: No it's not. It's like riding a bike. Issa: Yeah, I don't know how to do that either.”Tagged: Sex, Fuck, hook ups, bike, humor
“Go for it, go for it, go! Ho for it, ho for it, ho!”Tagged: Rap, go for it, Ho, hook ups, Relationships
“Molly: Girl, will you hurry your slow-walking ass up? Issa: It's my sexy walk!”Tagged: Walk, Sexy, slow, Hurry, humor
“Granted, having sex with me isn't amazing, but it's like, 'Huh... Okay. Yeah, I'm satisfied. I'd do that again.'”Tagged: Sex, Amazing, Satisfied, humor, Self-Depricating
“Oh, so now y’all wanna be woke when a bitch been an alarm clock since Day 1? Well, beep beep, motherfuckers! BEEEEEP! BEEEEEP!”Tagged: Woke, Alarm Clock, Metaphor, Beep, humor