“Bob: Wait, you read her diary? Linda: Yeah. Louise: What I can stomach. Linda: I just skim it to make sure she's not on drugs. Bob: Wha...what does it say? Linda: It says, ‘I’m not on drugs.’”Tagged: Anti-Jokes, Drugs, Diary
“Linda: [worried] They're not here! I got Tina's diary, let's see if it says anything. [reads diary] Dear Diary, tonight we're sneaking into the dangerous taffy factory. Also, if boys had uteruses they'd be called duderuses.' Bob: Ha, 'duderuses.'”Tagged: Duderuses, Diary, dangerous, Portmanteus
“Bob: Tina, you have the fullest head of hair in the family. I would kill for that hairline. Tina: I believe you would!”Tagged: Hairline, Receding Hairline, Male Pattern Baldness
“Bob: Hey, sometimes good things come from boredom. Like Gene. Gene: Thank you!”Tagged: Boring, Backhanded Compliments
“It's that gas from your ass That toot from your boot That hum in your bum That loot from your chute All that air from your ol' derriere Come on and set it free 'Cause farts are liberty! What do we wanna do? (Fart, fart!) Open up your butt cheeks This is how our butts speak Let's Go Faaaaaart!”Tagged: Farts, Gas, Gross, Derriere
“Gene: I'm having my own Super Bowl blowout this year. I'm holding all of my BM's until halftime, when I will make a ‘Super Bowel!’ Linda: Gene, you can't hold your poops in, all right? You gotta set them free, then they go in the sewers and the find their families. And they're happy!”Tagged: super bowl, Super Bowel, Bowel Movements, Gross
“I wanna take her stupid neck and wring it!”Tagged: Threats, Strangulation, Wanting To Kill People, Desire to Murder