“Right, yeah, like nothing shady ever happened in a fully furnished office? You ever hear about Wall Street, Morty? Y-Y-Y'know what those guys do i-in-in their fancy boardrooms? They take their balls and they dip 'em in cocaine and wipe 'em all over each other—y'know, Grandpa goes around and he does…”Tagged: Wall Street, shady, public, Office, Garage
“[they both exchange kisses, upping their sexual arousal] Unity: Yes, Rick, yes! Yes, yes! Rick: Wait, wait, stop! H-Hold it! Not like this. We need a hang glider, and a crotchless Uncle Sam costume, and I want the entire field of your largest stadium covered end to end with naked redheads, and I…”Tagged: Sex, Hang Glider, Fantasy, Uncle Sam, Crotchless
“Mr. Beauregard: Ah, Master Rick, remember when you weren't going to shoot me? Rick: [shoots Mr. Beauregard in the face] I guess Iiii did the butler! Hahaaa! Does that, does that scan? Ghost in a Jar: Oh, I-I get it. It's a play on 'the butler did it.' Rick: Thanks Ghost in a Jar. You always were…”Tagged: butler, Word Play, comedy, shoot, Obscure
“Jerry: Rick, I don't like glowing rocks in the kitchen trash! Rick: Well, I don't like your unemployed genes in my grandchildren, Jerry, but life is made of little concessions.”Tagged: Sassy, Grandchildren, Concessions, Sacrifices, unemployed
“Rick: No, "Steve" put that memory in your brain so he could live in your house, eat your food and multiply. We could be infested with these things. So, we got to keep an eye out for any zany, wacky characters that pop up. Mr. Poopybutthole: Oooohwee! Whatever you want, Rick, we're here to help!…”Tagged: Zany, Wacky Characters, Counting On Friends, Memory
“Get off the high road, Summer! We all got pinkeye because you won't stop texting on the toilet.”Tagged: Toilet, High Road, Texting, germs, Pinkeye
“They named a holiday after me. Ricksgiving. They teach kids about me in school!”Tagged: Thanksgiving, School, holiday, Teaching
“Morty, you gotta flip 'em off. I told them it means 'peace among worlds.' How hilarious is that!”Tagged: Middle Finger, Peace Among Words, Funny
“Wait for the ramp, Morty. They love the slow ramp. It really gets their dicks hard”Tagged: Ramp, Slow Ramp, Dicks, Dicks Hard
“Morty: You have a whole planet... sitting around making your power for you?! That's slavery! Rick: It's society! They work for each other, Morty. They pay each other, they buy houses, they get married and make children that replace them when they get too old to make power. Morty: That just sounds…”Tagged: Slavery, planet, Laid, Sassy, Extra-Steps
“Huntin' a vampire with my grandkids!! FUCK!! TINY RI-I-ICK!!!”Tagged: tiny, Grandchildren, Excited, Bonding
“The universe is a little too big to care about something so small.”Tagged: Universe, small, big, Vast, Care
“See? Our cup runneth over. Now, who wants to go shopping for a brand-new motherfuckin' world?! All right!”Tagged: End of the World, Shopping, World