“Sonny: I'm thinkin' about keepin' the kid. Phil D'Amato: Sonny, remember that time you went with me to the pet store to get fish food and you saw that cute little puppy and you wanted to get it, but then I reminded you about feeding it and cleaning it and toilet-training it? Sonny: Yeah... Phil…”Tagged: child custody, Pets, puppy, toilet training
“[Music playing in the background] Layla: This is Styx. Sonny: Yeah. Layla: They've been my favorite band since I was, like, twelve. Sonny: You're kidding me? Layla: No, no, I can't help it, I just love them. My friends make fun of me all the time. Sonny: My friends make fun of me all the time, too.…”Tagged: styx, fan, mr. roboto
“I know this is the right thing because I would die for this kid just so he won't feel one ounce of sadness. That's why you're here right now, to protect me, to be scared for me to be a good father. And that's exactly what I'm gonna be.”Tagged: Sadness, Fatherhood
“You can be scared that I might get pickpocketed in a bad neighborhood or break my legs skiing. But don't be scared about me being a dad, because I will not fail. I love this kid too much. I love him as much as you love me, Dad. I'm gonna give him advice and I'm gonna guide him and I'll be there…”Tagged: Scared, Pickpockets, Dad, Love, New York
“Sonny: Get cleaned up and we'll go to Barney's. Julian: Barney? Sonny: Not that Barney, a different Barney. A much more expensive Barney.”Tagged: barney, expensive
“Sonny: He's the smelly kid in class!, I let him become the smelly kid in class!, What the hell's the matter with me? Ms. Foote: Oh yes, I've had some smelly ones before, but your son is by far the smelliest.”Tagged: Smelly
“Sonny: Everyone's so busy with their crap lately, no one ever comes. Mr. Herlihy: Like I'm not busy? Sonny: Hey Mr. Herlihy, how bout you shut up before i smack you threw the wall like last week? Mr. Herlihy: Last Monday was a fluke. Bring it on woman. Oh... hah... hahahahahahaha. Sonny: He drinks a…”Tagged: Busy, soda, Crap, bring it on
“Mr. Herlihy: Koufax is a good egg, he was nice to that kid. But he fights like a girl. You like that? I'm right here Miss, what are you gonna do about it? Hahaha. Sonny: What, are you drunk, Mr. Herlihy? Mr. Herlihy: Well, I-I had a few chardonnays, what of it? Sonny: Get off the stand, please. Mr.…”Tagged: Chardonnay, Drunk
“Sonny: What do you eat? Julian: Food. Sonny: Oh, yeah? Well, I eat food, too.”Tagged: eating, food, Stating the Obvious
“Mike: I am still weirded out seeing them kiss. Sonny: Why? They're gay. That's what gay guys do. Mike: Yeah, but they were like brothers to us in school. Sonny: They're still our brothers. Our very gay brothers.”Tagged: men kissing, gay, brothers
“Sonny: Hey man, who won the Knick game? Angry Guy: Who cares? Sonny: Don't worry. He can't hold you down forever. Angry Guy: What are you talking about? Sonny: You know what I'm talking about. Angry Guy: You're a loser. Sonny: You're mad at your dad, not me. I forgive you. Angry Guy: [walking away…”Tagged: New York Knicks, Daddy Issues
“What's in the bag, Corrine? Chicken wings? Booby tassels?”Tagged: what's in the bag, tassels, breasts, booby, chicken wings
“[to Julian] I can't take this shit. Are you serious? [Julian continues jumping to the Kangaroo song…under his breath; about the character in the song] Douchebag kangaroo.”Tagged: douchebag, Kangaroo, Shit
“Layla: So two guys you were best friends with in law school fell in love with each other? Sonny: Yeah. Layla: Is that strange for you? Sonny: Uh, nothing changed really. They watch a different kind of porno now.”Tagged: Porno, Best Friends, Law School, Falling In Love
“Sonny: Don't worry about me making money. I'm in love with a woman who makes plenty of it. She'll be my sugar mamma. Homeless Guy: I gotta get me one of those.”Tagged: sugar mama, money making
“Sonny: I'm going through a rough patch in my life right now. Syracuse is 0 and 3. I got those medical problems. Vanessa: Medical problems? A cab runs over your foot two years ago, you spend one night in the hospital. Sonny: First of all that cab was huge. And a jury decided that one night of pain…”Tagged: medical problems, syracuse, hypochondria
“Hey! You just made the biggest mistake of your life, baby. I know you're gunna be missing me when you have that big, white, wrinkly body on you with his loose skin and old balls... gross! Ugh!”Tagged: old balls, loose skin, Gross