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Sonny Koufax

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All Piss (1)fan (1)Scared (1)Pets (1)breasts (1)New York Knicks (1)Father Figure (1)tassels (1)Law School (1)Gross (1)be prepared (1)douchebag (1)Kangaroo (1)men kissing (1)loose skin (1)

From “Big Daddy ”

Sonny: I'm thinkin' about keepin' the kid. Phil D'Amato: Sonny, remember that time you went with me to the pet store to get fish food and you saw that cute little puppy and you wanted to get it, but then I reminded you about feeding it and cleaning it and toilet-training it? Sonny: Yeah... Phil…

child custody Pets puppy toilet training

[Music playing in the background] Layla: This is Styx. Sonny: Yeah. Layla: They've been my favorite band since I was, like, twelve. Sonny: You're kidding me? Layla: No, no, I can't help it, I just love them. My friends make fun of me all the time. Sonny: My friends make fun of me all the time, too.…

styx fan mr. roboto

I know this is the right thing because I would die for this kid just so he won't feel one ounce of sadness. That's why you're here right now, to protect me, to be scared for me to be a good father. And that's exactly what I'm gonna be.

Sadness Fatherhood

You can be scared that I might get pickpocketed in a bad neighborhood or break my legs skiing. But don't be scared about me being a dad, because I will not fail. I love this kid too much. I love him as much as you love me, Dad. I'm gonna give him advice and I'm gonna guide him and I'll be there…

Scared Pickpockets Dad Love New York

Sonny: Get cleaned up and we'll go to Barney's. Julian: Barney? Sonny: Not that Barney, a different Barney. A much more expensive Barney.

barney expensive

Sonny: He's the smelly kid in class!, I let him become the smelly kid in class!, What the hell's the matter with me? Ms. Foote: Oh yes, I've had some smelly ones before, but your son is by far the smelliest.

Smelly

Sonny: Everyone's so busy with their crap lately, no one ever comes. Mr. Herlihy: Like I'm not busy? Sonny: Hey Mr. Herlihy, how bout you shut up before i smack you threw the wall like last week? Mr. Herlihy: Last Monday was a fluke. Bring it on woman. Oh... hah... hahahahahahaha. Sonny: He drinks a…

Busy soda Crap bring it on

Mr. Herlihy: Koufax is a good egg, he was nice to that kid. But he fights like a girl. You like that? I'm right here Miss, what are you gonna do about it? Hahaha. Sonny: What, are you drunk, Mr. Herlihy? Mr. Herlihy: Well, I-I had a few chardonnays, what of it? Sonny: Get off the stand, please. Mr.…

Chardonnay Drunk

Sonny: What do you eat? Julian: Food. Sonny: Oh, yeah? Well, I eat food, too.

eating food Stating the Obvious

Mike: I am still weirded out seeing them kiss. Sonny: Why? They're gay. That's what gay guys do. Mike: Yeah, but they were like brothers to us in school. Sonny: They're still our brothers. Our very gay brothers.

men kissing gay brothers

Sonny: Hey man, who won the Knick game? Angry Guy: Who cares? Sonny: Don't worry. He can't hold you down forever. Angry Guy: What are you talking about? Sonny: You know what I'm talking about. Angry Guy: You're a loser. Sonny: You're mad at your dad, not me. I forgive you. Angry Guy: [walking away…

New York Knicks Daddy Issues

What's in the bag, Corrine? Chicken wings? Booby tassels?

what's in the bag tassels breasts booby chicken wings

[to Julian] I can't take this shit. Are you serious? [Julian continues jumping to the Kangaroo song…under his breath; about the character in the song] Douchebag kangaroo.

douchebag Kangaroo Shit

Layla: So two guys you were best friends with in law school fell in love with each other? Sonny: Yeah. Layla: Is that strange for you? Sonny: Uh, nothing changed really. They watch a different kind of porno now.

Porno Best Friends Law School Falling In Love

My God, that's a shitload of piss.

Piss shitload

Sonny: Don't worry about me making money. I'm in love with a woman who makes plenty of it. She'll be my sugar mamma. Homeless Guy: I gotta get me one of those.

sugar mama money making

Have a good sleep there, Corrine. Pleasant hooters!

Hooters boobs

Sonny: I'm going through a rough patch in my life right now. Syracuse is 0 and 3. I got those medical problems. Vanessa: Medical problems? A cab runs over your foot two years ago, you spend one night in the hospital. Sonny: First of all that cab was huge. And a jury decided that one night of pain…

medical problems syracuse hypochondria

Hey! You just made the biggest mistake of your life, baby. I know you're gunna be missing me when you have that big, white, wrinkly body on you with his loose skin and old balls... gross! Ugh!

old balls loose skin Gross

What, you want a father figure? Stop pulling your sister's hair!

Father Figure hair puller

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