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Steve Koren

24 quotesFilm Producer · United States Of America · Male

Steve Koren is an American writer/producer and screenwriter. Most notably, he has written for "Saturday Night Live", "Seinfeld", and "Veep". He also wrote or co-wrote the movies "Bruce Almighty", "Click", "A Night at the Roxbury" and "Superstar". In addition, he has contributed to "Curb Your Enthusiasm". (Palestinian Chicken Episode). Koren was born in Queens, New York, and attended Benjamin N. Cardozo High School in Bayside, Queens. 2Career After college, he began his career as an NBC page. Among his duties as a page was working for Saturday Night Live. As a Rockefeller Center tour guide, Koren would hand jokes to David Letterman and Dennis Miller as they passed in the hall, which landed him a writing gig on SNL. He also occasionally acted for the series. While at SNL, he wrote/co-wrote Weekend Update, Mary Katheryn Gallagher, The Roxbury Guys, Adam Sandler’s The Denise Show, The Joe Pesci Show, Jim Carrey’s Hot Tub Lifeguard, among many other sketche

All Bravado (4)Lawsuits (2)Machismo (2)smoking (2)Sex (2)Abstinence (2)Puerto Ricans (1)Jewish Men (1)Industrialist (1)Lawyers (1)garbage (1)Public Humiliation (1)Motivational Tapes (1)Gluttony (1)Threats (1)

From “The Abstinence”

I'm sorry, Elaine. I always knew that after I became a doctor, I would dump whoever I was with and find someone better. That's the dream of becoming a doctor.

doctors Players Dating

Rugged? The man's a goblin. He's only been exposed to smoke for four days. By the time this case gets to trial, he’ll be nothing more than a shrunken head.

Rugged Goblins smoking Lawsuits Tobacco

This is the most public yet of my many humiliations.

Public Humiliation

Miss Wilkie, your tobacco company has turned this beautiful specimen into a horrible, twisted freak.

smoking Lawyers Lawsuits Freaks Hyperbole

Jerry, my face is my livelihood, my allure...my twinkle! Everything I have I owe to this face.

face Visage Livelihood Vanity

To a woman, sex is like the garbage man. You just take for granted the fact that any time you put some trash out on the street, a guy in a jumpsuit's gonna come along and pick it up. But now, it's like a garbage strike. The bags are piling up in your head. The sidewalk is blocked. Nothing's getting…

Sex Abstinence Trash garbage Garbage Strike

I mean, let's say this is your brain. OK, from what I know about you, your brain consists of two parts: the intellect, represented here, and the part obsessed with sex. Now, granted, you have extracted an astonishing amount from this little scrap. But with no-sex—Louise, this previously useless lump…

Sex Abstinence Brain

From “The English Patient”

Look, let me just state for the record: I think you're both better than me.

Self-deprecation

It's like, if one of ’em dies, the other one wants to bench-press the casket.

Machismo Bravado Weightlifting Death

Oh, you think you're better than me? Go ahead, pick out anything in the room here. I'll lift it up over my head.

Machismo Bravado

Oh yeah, that's right. Go. Put us all in the hospital. And you've ruined our business with all your macho head games.

macho Head Games Bravado

Think you're better than me, huh?

Bravado

From “The Serenity Now”

You've got ‘shiksappeal.’ Jewish men love the idea of meeting a woman that's not like their mother.

Shiksas Jewish Men Attraction Jewish Mothers

1%? They can kiss 1% of my ass!

1% milk Anger

Doctor gave me a relaxation cassette. When my blood pressure gets too high, the man on the tape tells me to say, 'Serenity now!'

Motivational Tapes Psychology Blood Pressure

Serenity now. Insanity later.

Serenity Mantras Insanity

From “The Dealership”

Oh yeah? I’ll tell you what’s stupid. You. Stupid.

Stupid Juvenile insults

From “The Frogger”

Mr. Peterman: Elaine, can you keep a secret? Elaine: No sir, I can’t.

Candor Secrets

What is nice? Trying to fill the void in your life with flour and sugar and egg and vanilla? I mean, we are all unhappy. Do we have to be fat, too? Not you, Becky; I know you have a slow metabolism. I don't want one more piece of cake in my office!

Gluttony Sweets Cake Sugar Weight Gain

I had to take a sick day. I'm so sick of these people.

Sick Days Coworkers

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