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1,631 quotes

“Why do hippies like camping? Cause it’s in tents, man.”

“How do you find Will Smith when he’s lost in the snow? You just look for fresh prints.”

“What kind of bees make milk? Boo-bees.”

“What do you call two guys hanging on a window? Kurt and Rod.”

“Why did the tomato blush? Because he saw the salad dressing.”

“What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing. It just waved.”

Tagged: Puns

“What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang around, and I’ll go ahead.”

“If you’re American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? Euro-peein’.”

“What did one firefly say to the other? You glow, girl!”

“Why did the superhero flush the toilet? Because it was his doody.”

“What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling? Mistletoad.”

“What do hip-hop artists do on Christmas? Unwrap.”

“What’s Santa’s favorite candy? Jolly Ranchers.”

“Why does Santa always enter through the chimney? Because it soots him.”

“What do you get when you deep fry Santa? Crisp Cringle.”

“Why is Santa always cast as the lead in the local musical? Because he has such good presents.”

“Why is Santa so good at karate? Cause he’s got a black belt.”

“How do sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico? Fleece Navidad.”

“Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party? He had no body to go with.”

“What part of the body do you only see around Christmas? The mistletoe. Where does mistletoe go to get famous? Holly-wood!”