“Vanessa Baxter: Can you drive Eve to soccer? Mike Baxter: [scoffing] Soccer. That's just Europe's covert war for the hearts and minds of America's kids.”Tagged: soccer, eurocentrism, Conspiracy Theories
“Vanessa Baxter: [on Outdoor Man's Vlog] Come on down to Outdoor Man and get your husband off your back! And off your front. [winks] Mike Baxter: [turning off webcam] Are you crazy? You know our minister watches this? Vanessa Baxter: Oh please, he has eight kids, he knows what I'm talking about.”Tagged: Sex, minister, Double Entendres
“Vanessa Baxter: I don't like the idea of you guys posting stuff on the internet. Eve Baxter: Mom, come on. If Mandy's spreading something viral, you better pray it's on the internet.”Tagged: posting online, Internet, Viral, STDs
“Mike Baxter: Hey babe. Vanessa Baxter: He-ey. Mike Baxter: What's the matter? Vanessa Baxter: Oh nothing. I'm just... I'm just right on that late afternoon fence where do I have another cup of coffee or just say screw it and pour my first glass of wine. Mike Baxter: Tough one. Vanessa Baxter: Well,…”Tagged: Love, Sex, Lust, Coffee, Wine
“Vanessa Baxter: Ed made up a whole fake backstory about himself just to trick people into trusting him? Mike Baxter: Yep. Basically, he's Obama.”Tagged: fake history, Barack Obama
“Vanessa Baxter: I worry about our daughters and the men they choose. Mike Baxter: I know. They can't all win the lottery like you did. Vanessa Baxter: [laughs] Just remember, a lot of people who win the lottery end up killing themselves. Mike Baxter: And you remember they usually end up blowing…”Tagged: worry, lottery, Suicide
“Vanessa Baxter: Uh, Eve, what happened to your lip? Eve Baxter: Oh, uh, I got into a little scrap with Richie Hayden. Vanessa Baxter: What? Eve Baxter: Yeah, um, I know as a joke people like to say how you should see the other guy, but seriously, you should see the other guy.”Tagged: fights, bloody lip, you should see the other guy
“Vanessa Baxter: Mike, I thought there was supposed to be an article about you in the Denver Business Weekly? Mike Baxter: The guy needed more time. Apparently, five thousand words isn't enough to take in all of this. Vanessa Baxter: Well, that's the price you pay for being so fascinating. Mike…”Tagged: denver business weeklyl, fascinating, geologist, dodged a bullet
“Vanessa Baxter: Can you believe there's another Kardashian? Mike Baxter: Like cars, comes out with a new model every year, got that new Kardashian smell.”Tagged: kardashian, new car, Smell