Season

Season 3

by Alan Alda, Loretta Swit, Jamie Farr, Harry Morgan, Kellye Nakahara and 31 others

The third season of M*A*S*H aired Tuesdays at 8:30-9:00 pm on CBS.

(9 total)

Characters

Hawkeye Pierce (5)Alan Alda (5)Laurence Marks (4)Larry Gelbart (4)Larry Linville (3)Major Franklin Marion Burns (3)Maxwell Klinger (1)Jamie Farr (1)Mary Kay Place (1)James Fritzell (1)

“Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce.”

— Larry Gelbart, Major Franklin Marion Burns, Larry Linville, imdb.com

Tagged: Marriage, Divorce, Painfully Obvious

“Klinger: What's this morning's breakfast? Trapper: Last night's dinner. Klinger: Great, that was yesterday's lunch.”

— Larry Gelbart, Maxwell Klinger, Jamie Farr, imdb.com

Tagged: Dinner, Lunch, breakfast, Monotony

“Frank: Klinger, I want to see you out of that dress...tonight! Klinger: Never on a first date, sir!”

— Larry Gelbart, John D. Hess, Major Franklin Marion Burns, Larry Linville, imdb.com

Tagged: Transvestitism

“The instrument has yet to be devised that can test my indifference to that remark.”

— Everett Greenbaum, James Fritzell, Hawkeye Pierce, Alan Alda, imdb.com

Tagged: Indifference

“Anyone who needs psychiatry is sick in the head.”

— Mary Kay Place, Major Franklin Marion Burns, Larry Linville, imdb.com

Tagged: Psychiatry

“Hawkeye: Let's make a pact about drinking. Trapper: All right. Hawkeye: Let's never stop.”

— Laurence Marks, Hawkeye Pierce, Alan Alda, imdb.com

Tagged: Drinking, Alcoholism

“I'm not sleeping, I'm inspecting the inside of my eyelids.”

— Laurence Marks, Hawkeye Pierce, Alan Alda, imdb.com

Tagged: not sleeping, excuses, Alibis

“I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got thrown into this war I had a clear understanding with the Pentagon: no guns. I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll even 'hari-ka…”

— Laurence Marks, Hawkeye Pierce, Alan Alda, imdb.com

Tagged: Guns, harakiri, Pentagon, cary grant, old virginia

“I just don’t know why they’re shooting at us. All we want to do is bring them democracy and white bread. Transplant the American dream. Freedom. Achievement. Hyperacidity. Affluence. Flatulence. Technology. Tension. The inalienable right to an early coronary sitting at your desk while plotting to st…”

— Laurence Marks, Larry Gelbart, Hawkeye Pierce, Alan Alda, imdb.com

Tagged: Freedom, Achievement, Flatulence, tension, American Dream