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Season

New Girl Season 1

by Zooey Deschanel, Max Greenfield, Lamorne Morris, Jake Johnson, Hannah Simone and 8 others(22 total)

After her boyfriend cheats on her, quirky teacher Jess moves in with three freewheeling bachelors, who have plenty of issues of their own.

Characters

Schmidt (19)Max Greenfield (19)Elizabeth Meriwether (4)David Quandt (4)Josh Malmuth (3)Jessica "Jess" Day (3)Luvh Rakhe (3)Berkley Johnson (3)Zooey Deschanel (3)Donick Cary (2)

Get rid of it, Jess. Pine has no place in this loft. It’s the wood of poor people and outhouses.

— Dave Finkel, Brett Baer, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Pine loft Poor People outhouses prestigious

The economy stinks, bees are dying, and movies are pretty much all sequels now.

— David Quandt, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Economy Bees Dying Movies sequels

This is a horrible neighborhood. There are youths everywhere!

— Lesley Wake Webster, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

horrible Neighborhood Youths Everywhere

Guess whose personalized condoms just arrived!

— Luvh Rakhe, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Personalized condoms Excited

What if he gets into an accident? What if he’s horribly disfigured, and I have to identify him, and all that remains are his private parts? I’m standing there, I’m saying, ‘Sorry, officer, I can’t help you, because no, I haven’t seen his penis.’ An then boom, he’s buried in an unmarked grave.

— J. J. Philbin, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

accident horribly private parts penis unmarked grave

Can we just take a moment to celebrate me?

— Josh Malmuth, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

moment Celebrate take a moment

Damn it! I can’t find my driving moccasins anywhere!

— Luvh Rakhe, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Driving moccasins upset

Youths!

— Lesley Wake Webster, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Youths youngings Young People kids

I’m really gonna need you to step it up tonight, okay? When I see you, I wanna be thinking, ‘Who let the dirty slut out of the slut house?’

— Donick Cary, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

tonight step it up Slut dirty

Can someone please get my towel? It’s in my room next to my Irish walking cape!

— Nick Adams, Josh Malmuth, Berkley Johnson, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

towel Irish walking cape

I had figure skating lessons until I was 13, and then my mom sobered up and realized I was a boy.

— Donick Cary, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

figure skating Mom sobered realized

Damp towel, damp! It’s like a really big wet nap. I feel like I’m being licked by a golden retriever. Look at this bathroom. There should not be two girls in this bathroom. You’re too humid.

— Josh Malmuth, Nick Adams, Berkley Johnson, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

damp towel Nap Simile Examples Golden Retriever Bathroom Bucket

Nick is delicate. Like a flower. Like a chubby, damaged flower who hates himself.

— J. J. Philbin, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Delicate Simile Examples Flower chubby damaged

Have you seen my sharkskin laptop sleeve?

— Luvh Rakhe, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Questions sharkskin Laptop Sleeve

Schmidt: Here’s another tip, don’t ask a guy out on a first date on the least sexy holiday in America. Jess: What are the sexiest holidays in America? Schmidt: The most sexy holidays are the 4th of July — Independence Day, obviously. Women’s History Month. Christmas.

— Berkley Johnson, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Sexy holiday America 4th of July Christmas

Don’t pretend to know my pain.

— David Quandt, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Pretend Pain Do Not

Old people freak me out. With their hands and their legs. They’re like the people version of pleated pants.

— David Quandt, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Old People Freak hands legs version

Schmidt happens.

— Elizabeth Meriwether, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Life Shit Happens Problems

I hope you like feminist rants, because that's kind of my thing.

— Elizabeth Meriwether, Jessica "Jess" Day, Zooey Deschanel, imdb.com

Feminist Women Rants

I don't know what I'm doing emotionally or -- let's be honest -- sexually.

— Elizabeth Meriwether, Jessica "Jess" Day, Zooey Deschanel, imdb.com

Sex emotions Confused

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